Sunday, December 16, 2012

Nirahara Samyama Continues

My report is - I have more energy in the body.  It is Sunday and I ate last time on Tuesday.  Patterns with late night eating are still present but a little less active.  I feel that food is a great entertainment but if not used appropriately consumes a lof of energy and time.
The idea that we need to eat to have energy is a wrong idea I guess.
Not sure I understand how people who are not familiar with Nirahara Practice can do  that.  Can they actually do that at all?  I am thinking of course they can but how?  What if they chant their own prayers (whatever their belief system is)?  I hope Swamiji will explain.
Enjoying my high awareness state!

Friday, December 14, 2012

Nirahara Samyama Again

It is my second time with  this practice.  I am at the second level which means in a 7 day stretch of no food no hunger meditation.
The most interesting and eye opening thing is that I can clearly see the patterns and the proof that when we think we are hungry and must eat it is just a mind pattern not a real thing.  In a pursuit of quick enjoyment mind abuses the body.  Here is why:
I have the same amount of liquids throughout the day:  mostly coconut water and vegetable juice (this too is less than a glass, supposed to be diluted too)  so if  my body really needs food  I should be hungry the same way throughout a day but......I felt that I am hungry at night after 7 pm  two days in a row and not in the morning or afternoon.  Interesting,right?
The feeling went away after I chanted mantra.

Thursday, December 13, 2012

It is all ours...

I was at a freinds' house last night.  I needed to be on a landline but my home phone is not  functioning well.  This family has a beautiful house.  The husband showed me the study and invited to settle with my things there.  The study or office is a beautiful room with shiny dark wooden floor, tall book cases, a big, beautiful desk, and of course a big leather couch with a very comfortable chair.  I looked around and said: "Oh, what a beautiful office you have!"  He smiled and said: "It is not mine.  It is everybody's.  We do not have space in the house that is mine or hers or theirs.  Even our  bedroom is a playroom for our children sometimes."
What a blessing to have parents like that!   They have a son and a daughter.  These children will not grow up with the idea of superiority towards their spouses and they will never abandon their elders.  They are not just told to do the right thing.  They experience living in this  environment.  And once you experience it you can not comfortably shrink to a superiority idea which is scary when expressed in both genders.  Women thinking that they are better than men are as scary as men thinking they are smarter than women.

Thursday, December 6, 2012

Not advice but sharing!

I had a great realization today.
There are many situations when I give advice.  I feel that the advised action will bring good results to the other person.  The key word in the previous sentence is "I" because I come from my experience only.  By the way more often than not an advice will never be used.
Is it ok?
Yes.  This is how I got to it.
The question is: "Have I given the advice because the person asked me for it?"  Not always.
Should I keep giving advice?  No.  Advice is always implies that the person giving an advice knows better.  Do I really know better?  No, of course not!  It is their life and I only have a glimpse of it in one tiny aspect of it.
Have you also noticed that people who love giving advice do not ask a lot of questions?  They have an idea that they know.  We all have colds from time to time so most of us will know how to treat it but there are other illnesses that might manifest as colds so when we see the symptoms we should not assume we know the diagnoses.
It is different with enlightened beings though because like doctors (or I should say much better than doctors) they see our medical history so it is a different story.
So what about me?  Should I continue sharing?  Yes! Sharing is a song about LIFE and it's melody and lyrics are unique to the person singing it and  I am singing mine.  

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Sunday, December 2, 2012


I am waking up n the morning, sitting down for my puja and meditation. Every day.  I rarely miss  this experience.
Why?  Am I afraid that if I am not doing it, something bad will happen?  Well, no.  I know that God is not here to punish us, we do a great job on that ourselves!  As a matter of fact we are so good at that, he needs often to lessen our excellence with creating situations that hurt us.
So why then?  Simple.  Inspiration.
I was sitting at my meditation today and then a thought came that I am involved in a lot of projects and how awesome I would feel if Swamiji were conducting them and I was just a helper.  The next thought  was "Wait, I am just a helper", then I felt a relief from pressure.  By the end of the meditation I had three different topics for podcasts that I wrote down,   then I finished editing my last podcast which is called "Deprived Generation" and it is only 9 am in the morning.  I have big plans..
Let Him be there and let me never forget that I have an honor to be a helper...

Thursday, November 29, 2012

A 4 year old boy asked me the other day...

A 4 year old boy asked me the other day :"Ms, Lena, Do you know that God is in everything? Even in my sock?" I said: "Yes, dear, I realize that now." He said:" I keep wondering how I am not smashing God when I put my sock on?"...

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Gratitude or Being Like Santa!

I talked the other day with a caring person who feels that there is no gratitude towards his actions from his family but at the same time he felt that the family was grateful to God.
I thought to myself that if the family felt grateful to God, they surely knew that even that person was a part of God and then how that person could be excluded from their gratitude circle?!
This talk left me with a feeling that everyone only sees what they are conditioned to see.  No one can really prove anything unless the other person's mind is programmed to see goodness in others.  Maybe one must have faith in others first and then he or she would be able to see that goodness in the world outside.  I was not able to convey that message in the conversation with that person.
I then  thought that kids often feel happy and grateful for no reason.  They do not really need a big proof that they are loved or cared for.   We also do not need much from them,  right?  Just a smile or a hug and we are running around to do some more things for them.  I bet most of us do not run around with the thought that one day when they grow up we will give them an itemized bill for our actions.  By the way when parents do give a bill and say something like "I did so much for you and you...."  They often hear: "And who asked you to do all that?"  Legitimate question.  We also feel like kings while we are giving because we give not in a form of exchange  like "I am giving you $1 so please make sure you give me back at least $1".  We give like Santas.  We are their Santas.
I feel all giving should be like that then we will feel so rich and our life will have so much juice and joy! Maybe that is what the Bible means "Be like children.  Heaven belongs to them."
As for my lesson, another reminder that I have to start with myself.  Seeing God in others all the time is a great practice for me.

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Art and Your Life

Even before one realizes that everything is Art, one can still look at art as an incredible tool that is  there for you throughout your whole life. The features and the benefits are different but the tool is still the same,  Amazing.
0 -7 y.o.- art is a way of exploring and enjoying everything.  Incredible brain development tool!
7 - 14 y.o. - still is an incredible tool for brain development but now a child creates his or her own tool box or skills that will be useful for the rest of their lives (learning resourcefulness  creating an open-minded personalities, ability to see a big picture, etc).
14 and up - self-therapy, breakthroughs, exploration of yourself, self realizations....

Why Nithyananda? He includes us all vs labeling and dividing....

I am so grateful for Nithyananda Ashrams and centers: 
"Nithyananda Dhyanapeetam is a public charity formed with an intention of propagating yoga and meditation worldwide. It is not a place of only Hindu worship but a Universal worship place, where people belonging to all religions, who participate in the yoga and meditation programs do meditation. "
They were under attack for this philosophy for a while but it is finally coming to an end. Thank God!

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

How I met Swamiji or Paramahamsa Nithyananda

How did I meet Swamiji or Pramahamsa Nithyananda  
I was attending a "wizard" camp conducted by Peak Potentials Company.  It is a great camp to develop your intuition and learn about different life improving techniques.  It was in 2007, upstate New York, Catskill Mountains.
One day was dedicated to meditation.  The speaker had an impressive biography:  first person on the planet Earth who was a guide at the three extreme challenges: Mt. Everest, North and South Pole.
At that time I was going to the Buddhist Monastery every week, sometimes for lectures but most of the time to meditate.  Our Bodhi Monastery has a room  where monks meditate early in the morning and after that it is available and open for public.  The energy is great there.  I was new to meditation but I was able to sit for 2 hours in that room.  Amazing.
Anyway, his name was Martin Williams.  He started explaining how our mind worked and what chakras or energy centers of the body were.  We practiced meditations chosen by Paramahamsa Nithyananda for opening the chakras. I think we did four of them.  In the short time,  they were about 30 min long, I experienced a different depth in my meditation.  I really would not be able to give this experience justice by using words.  It was beyond words:  the presence, the lightness in the body, the peace and the clarity of the mind.  You get the idea.
Martin Williams was a very approachable, simple and warm person. There was also something distinctly different about him and the way he explained things.
I decided to introduce myself and ask my "burning" question.  I thanked him for the experience and then said : " I meditate regularly but the more I meditate and study, the more depressed I feel.  I feel that I am going to learn some spirituality now, then I will die and then  I will be reborn and the whole thing will start all over again!!!  I really do not want that!"  He laughed and said:"Oh, I see.  You want a shortcut to Enlightenment?"  I thought for a split second, laughed too and said : "Yes, exactly.  I want exactly that  I want a shortcut. I also want to get all these meditations and the book you have because it was a powerful. experience for me  Where did you learn all that?"  Martin said: "Well, go on youtube, watch my guru, his name is Nithyananda and see if he is for you.  As far as the meditations and the book, you can do them on your own. Let me give you my email address and if you have questions or need support please feel free to email me."
He was simple and smart and wanted to help!!!
I came home after the course and started reading the book.  Every word made sense and I was finding answers as if the book was written for me!  I did not want to bother Martin with further questions without first doing the practice so after I read the book I started doing meditations. The book is called "Guaranteed Solutions".   Please get one if you have not read it yet.  What a treat this book is!  It was the end of August.
In November I emailed Martin and said that I finished the book and have done all meditations on my own and ...Now what?
I soon got an email from him.  It said exactly this: "Swamiji is in LA now for inauguration of the Temple.  The energy is amazing.  Come."
I got the  tickets and flew to LA.
November 30, 2007.  I was sitting among other 300 people in the hall at the temple waiting for Swamiji.    Then everyone stood up and I saw a very tall, skinny figure in the orange robe.  He passed right by me and it felt like a dancing light breeze.  He started speaking.  Again I do not think I can describe that experience.  His sense of humor was superb and clarity and simplicity with which he spoke on a lot of complicated subjects were amazing.  But I was not able to enjoy fully!!!!   I felt so tired and was falling asleep that I could not even listen!  So you understand, I was always really active and evening house were never an issue for me and I just flew to listen to him!!!  It felt as if I was a tight tight spring that was let go.  All of a sudden there was no tightness and no need to be anything and my first feeling was that I had not slept for at least a thousand years.  He was making jokes about people who came to listen to Shiva Sutras and now these people could not even keep their eyes open.  I felt it was about me but I could do nothing.
We had a darshan at the end.  By the way, I had no idea what darshan was so when I saw a line I decided that I was not going to wait for whatever these people were waiting.  After all I had enough and it was time to sleep.  I decided to ask what the darshan was and although no one could explain they all behaved as if it was something I should not have missed.  I thought that it was all ridiculous but stood in line.  I judged a lot while standing in that line.  Some people seemed way too happy (at that time I was full of ideas of what was appropriate and what was too much.  So funny now to remember all that.  So difficult to live like that too.)
So I stood in line and finally I was in front of Swamiji for the first time.
I wanted to ask him 100000000 questions about the Universe and my life and how to learn a shortcut to enlightenment but I could not say a word.  Nothing would come out of my mouth.  During Darshan you also need to close the eyes unless Swamiji asks you to keep them open.  I had no idea so I was looking him straight in the eyes during my darshan and finally he said: "Close your eyes."   My time in front of him was disappearing,  his palm on my area of the third eye was hot.  I still felt  my burning questions but could not say a word.  Everything seemed too stupid to ask, not clear words or thoughts or whatever.  It was time for me to go and I stated walking away.  All of a sudden I heard a loud voice: "Ask."  It was Swamiji.   I looked at him and said: "I came for guidance".   I was not sure what I meant and where these words came from.  "Meditate", he said.   I thanked him and walked away.
Meditate!  That's it?!  Just meditate! - what a simple advice.  I needed some kind of long explanation which would also include some story of my life and it was just that "Meditate"...
Well,  I spent there another three days and these three days deserve a separate post.  I met my really special friend Bhakta Swami who was my and my daughter's help and guidance for at least half a year when he stayed in New York.  And as for Swamiji's advice.   When I look back at my journey of these 5 years so much has changed.
By the way,  I meditate now every day and it is very efficient (!),  I can sometimes get to such a peaceful state of mind so quickly   My practice deserves a different post too.   Too many awesome memories to share.
And Martin?  We met many times after that.  I learned that his spiritual name was Dheera (means courage).  He was our guide on a trip to Himalayan mountains, he was one of the leaders for a seven week program Living Enlightenment in Bidadi, India with Swamiji himself.   He even came as a guest speaker to Sparta  where I live.  Guess what? He stayed at my house!
It was great writing this post because I love to share as you probably guessed already and remembering these first experiences  brought so much joy to me.   Cool or cool?  Thank you for reading this, whoever you are!
To Be Continued:  I will later tell you how  the connection with him evolved and I have a post "My Guru and the Scandal" so you know how I felt about the scandal and 52 days of imprisonment for Him!

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

My new project: "Paint your breakthrough!"

I decided to start a podcast to share my ideas, maybe even create a movement to bring ART back to our schools - and not just any art but high quality art classes because no one needs another "paint by numbers" class!
I will be creating and sharing lesson plans, easy techniques that everyone can use at home for themselves or their children or maybe even start Art groups in their communities!
My gratitude to those of you who will support this idea by listening, sharing, requesting topics that you are curious about.   To give you an example, a friend of mine and a parent of my school (Have I ever mentioned I have an art and music school ,, asked me what I thought about the so called "10,000 hours" rule.  I will do a podcast about that!
Please  forgive me if I speak too fast or too slow or whatever.  I have never done this before but I feel I have to share and maybe then someone who can do it outstandingly well will get inspired and the movement will start.  ART IS A VERY VERY POWERFUL THING!    I love this  quote by Paramahamsa Nithyananda: "God is an Artist not an engineer".
This podcast was approved on iTunes as well but it is registered as Elena Zelenina's show and I could not figure out how to change it to Paint Your Breakthrough yet.
Please feel free to leave me your comments or email me at

Monday, November 5, 2012

Birthday Miracles.

My very first one was a message from Swamiji.  How awesome it was to get it?  VERY!  This is what it said:
"Hello ma. Nithyanandam to you forever. And wish you many more happy returns of this wonderful day ma. And each and every morning while wake up is the day of your birth ma. have a blissful day ma. Bye."
I love birthdays and there is that special urge to feel loved by Existence on that day.  Of course if every day is our birth day it gives us so many opportunities to feel that, right?
I started the day with puja and meditation.  I have a rose tree, by the name Miss Bliss.  I wrote about it last year.  Believe it or not, it had a rose for me for my birthday again this year and ...some unopen buds too! 
I took the rose and cut the branch with unopened buds to put the last ones in the water.  By the way, three days later my unopened bud opened up! 
My flower miracles this year also included fresh petunias.   It is the end of October the leaves are almost gone and those that are still on the trees have dark brown and yellow colors.  BUT!!! THERE ARE FRESH PINK PETUNIAS IN MY FLOWER BOX ON THE DECK.  In June of this year I planted petunias and gave these flowers healing.  I think they liked it because this flower box shines with fresh pink color as if it is June or July.  I used these flowers for my pooja.  
I can tell that I was overwhelmed with gratitude.  
My mediation was deep and very relaxing, I enjoyed being  thoughtless so much! it was such freedom and it was difficult to come out of it and I considered it another wonderful gift!
The rest of the day I felt such connection to the whole world through my birthday messages.   
Remember how when we are children, we often have friends who live on the same street so we invite them to our birthday?  Well, my birthday messages were coming from all over the world: From Moscow to China, Singapore and Switzerland, Canada and France.  I met a lot of these friends in India where this blog was born and our connection just became stronger over the years.
Now I feel connected to the whole world as if  there is a friendship grid that covers the planet and I am one of the dots or links on that  grid and it lights up and moves around and these energy waves of love and friendliness flow from one place to another.  "Happy Birthday from Switzeland!" "Happy Birhtday from New York"  "Happy Birthday from Moscow"  "Happy Birthday from India".
My spiritual family, my childhood friends and all freinds that I met throughout my life is a large, warm and awesome group of people.  
At night my friends took me out.  They also all turned into poets and artists when giving me gifts:  One friend wished me to have nirvana inside and ...a lotuses garden outside.  Another friend said that I am like a small universe that is beautiful and dynamic and in constant motion and instead of my usual response: "Oh, no, it is too much, I am nothing" I thought to myself that that is pretty cool to feel like a universe and be surrounded by other universes full of poetry. I even got a pair of earrings that one of them designed:  a long golden string with a round white perl.  And then I got a cup  that said :"All we need is Love..."

Sunday, October 28, 2012

A Birthday Click !

My birthday wishes started coming from  a week before my birthday when I received a present from my mom.   She still lives in Russia and  sent it a bit early to make sure it is here on time.  The day before my birthday some messages started to come through Facebook
I want to explain now that in Russia it is considered a sign of bad luck to congratulate anyone on their birthday ahead of time.
At first I was trying to say that my birthday would be only the next day but then I had to drop that idea.   Too many messages.  So I said to myself that I was going to ignore them and would look at all these messages the next day.
On the day of my birthday in the morning I got this message from Paramahamsa Nithyananda:  "Hello ma. Nithyanandam to you forever. And wish you many more happy returns of this wonderful day ma. And each and every morning while wake up is the day of your birth ma. have a blissful day ma. Bye."
Cool or cool?!  Having a message from Swamiji made my heart sing but then it hit me.  He is telling me to relax and forget all this superposition   Un-clutch,  Relax, Enjoy!

Saturday, October 20, 2012

Positive thinking or Un-clutching?

I wanted to do a short follow up on a previous post.  I feel that the story how I saved $3,00 and won $6,900 is a brilliant demonstration how all my positive thinking was still not able to match what Life had in store for me.
I know that we influence our life all the time with our visualizations and imagination and of course it is better to visualize good things and outcomes but...  I feel so strongly now that I have to be in a complete un-clutching mode 24 - 7.  Un-clutching is a technique.  I am enclosing a link at the end of  this post with an explanation of it.
That Un-clutching technique brings more value to my life, way more value.
I did it the first time in December 2007 and was amazed how simple it was and how much peace of mind I got out of it.  I did it continuously for 11 days.  Now I do it all the time when I experience something that we call "stress" but today I felt that I finally really got "un-clutching".  Got it to the point that it is not a practice but life style.
Here is the explanation of the  technique here.  Enjoy!  Copy and paste this link: - it about 2 hours long.  there is a short 7 min version but I felt that the long and slower explanation gives more time to process because it is very different from we were taught all our lives. 

Friday, October 19, 2012

Saved $3,000, won $6,900 OR much better decisions...

In May of this year I decided to take an MMI course with Peak Potentials Training company.  I was a bit stuck in a bad situation and wanted to create an uplifting change for myself.  I have taken several courses with this company and all of them turned out to be of high quality.  They always offer great discounts at the seminars so my plan was to get a course that is called "An Enlightened  Warrior Training Camp" for my daughter. I took that course in 2006 and it was  truly one of the  life changing, and transforming experiences for me. I even had a budget of $3,000 dollars to spend on that adventure for my daughter..  
I was excited to go.   In the morning I did my success ritual (puja!) and went to the seminar.  
We all were given a ticket and people at the registration desk  told me to hold on to that ticket because it will be used as a lottery ticket several times throughout the weekend.  
I now have to tell you that I never ever ever ever ever ever (you got the idea) won anything in a lottery.  Come think of  it even $1 dollar prizes or toys at the fairs would not come my way.
When I saw the ticket, I put it in my hands, took a deep breath and asked Swamiji (in my mind of course) if I could please get something that I really needed.  I am looking back at that moment and I am not even sure why I did that.
Anyway,  it was the second day of the seminar.  They had great prizes and so far people won an iPad, a Warrior Training Camp (the one that I was planning to buy).  My number was not called.  And then I HEARD it.  It took me a second to process.  I could not believe my ears.  MY TICKET WON $6,900 seminar in marketing in LA.  OMG.  By the way, I almost lost my prize.  "Peak Potentials"  believes that you need to celebrate your gifts and successes and the trainer was about to through out my ticket (as they do if the person is not fully expressing.  Part of their training/message is to LEARN TO CELEBRATE!!!)  I then ran on stage and I jumped and screamed and I got my prize.  It was amazing!
Especially interesting part:  I won a marketing seminar. See I would have bought such a seminar for myself.  I would have never had such an idea because I always thought marketing is NOT MY THING.  I DO NOT DO THAT.
Well., I went to that event in September.  It was an amazing and a very eye opening experience.  I would go again and again and recommend to everyone to go
Now the my main point:.
If everything went the way I planned it:  I would have loved MMI, I would have spent $3,000, my daughter would have gone to a camp.  And all of those are great but let's see what happens if Existence or Swamiji plans for you:
 I had an incredible experience at the seminar, I won a big ticket for the first time in my life, I was not by the way able to purchase the Warrior camp (several mishaps and lost emails) which saved me $3,000, I also realized that my daughter does not really need a Warrior right now (in fact she is a Warrior!), I got a gift of $6,900 in the form of the seminar,  I had another breakthrough at that seminar and brought home new programs for my school;  I met some new and exciting people in LA.  I also I went to this awesome Vedic Temple in Montclair (I will need a different post to describe that).  Wow.
So whose planning is better?  Should we all just relax and enjoy?

Tuesday, October 16, 2012


Today in the morning I found a little streak of vibhooti on one of the padukas! Nithyanandam.

Wednesday, October 10, 2012


I feel I can sometimes function effortlessly: meeting right people, making good decisions if I  take “I” out of the picture and maybe even stop regulating my life too much.
I just came back from an investment seminar.  There were about 400 people learning about stocks. All kinds of people.  To tell you the truth, I am not that into stocks and that is why I signed up for it.
So how funny is that during two lunches and one dinner  I had an opportunity to briefly spend time with a violinist who performed and toured with Fantom, with an artist and a founder of a charter school  with passion towards different educational approach?!

Saturday, September 15, 2012

New Thinking in Medical Doctors!

I spent 5 fabulous days at the conference in LA learning marketing.  What made me decided to learn it?  The answer is nothing and I did not decide to do that. I went to another seminar where I happened to win this one.
I am grateful beyond grateful for this opportunity.  I will make a list of small and big things that happened here  but this post is not about  that so let me get to the point.
The trainers and students were amazing, ideas of what people's missions were truly inspiring.
I would call this seminar "marketing new thinking seminar"!
Among the students I met two MD psychiatrists and both said that contemporary medical approach  to medications and psychotherapy DOES NOT WORK!!!!!  One said: "You will spend years on my couch before a minor shift happens!"  Another one said: "When it happened to me and I took the antidepressants "...", I started seeing some kind of weird colors and I asked myself "Is it what I am giving to my patients?!"
Both of them experienced depression and both of them are healthy now but....pills or therapy had nothing to do with it.
Both are working on creating companies and radio shows to start promoting the idea of MEDITATION and self-growth.  I felt so honored to meet these two doctors.  Don't you want a doctor like that?

Thursday, August 23, 2012

Is Existence your enemy?

From Mahavatar Paramahamsa Nithyananda.

Existence is taking care of you every moment. Do you think you can be alive even for one moment if Existence does not want you to be alive? The very fact that you are alive proves that Existence wants you here, now, in this form, in this place. this is the ultimate cause for celebration! What more do you want?

Existence has provided, is providing and will provide for each and every one of your needs. Your suffering and struggle is only because you don't trust that you are being provided all that you need, because you consider yourself separate from Existence, who you think is your enemy.


I heard many times that music is a higher form among all arts.
I thought a lot about it.  I was mostly interested where this kind of thinking might have started.
I had a realization recently.  Not sure if it is right though.
...We can not really hear the majority of the sounds the universe is creating.  Maybe the frequency of the sound is not detectable by a human ear or our senses are muted.  Music has no reference point.  Music that we love is created by people.   God's music is not heard by most of people.   Our senses do not allow us to hear Angels singing 
However, world around us is a huge God's canvas.  We can enjoy God's Art in bodies, faces, landscapes, still lives, stories etc.  The most successful pieces of art are the copies of the Divine canvas/movie theater so since we are actually seeing the Divine canvas all the time but we do not hear Divine music all the time,  people started thinking that music is a higher form of art.
I feel that when we create from the Source then all art becomes part of the Divine Art.  So to have all forms of art at their picks we need to first connect to the Divine Creative energy and then express it freely by transmitting it, making ourselves a painting tool for the Divine.
Nithyananda said: "When you create art, God blesses you because you add beauty to his creation.”   
I feel Swamiji is talking about all forms of ART, right?

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Participation/ or ART weekend

Couple of weeks ago I went to visit my girlfriend and we decided to have an ART weekend.  We have been friends for a long  time, we both love art, it is easy for us to spend time together.  I am also blessed with her mom's friendship so this whole thing was very promising.
We planned a visit to a museum, a visit to a sculpture garden (it is called Grounds for sculpture), a painting session and a movie of course.  We ended up watching Woody Allen's "To Rome with Love".  Who would ever argue that Woody Allen isn't ART itself!
It was all awesome but the best part happened in Grounds For Sculptures park.
This park reminded me of a park in Bangalore, India.  I remember seeing a group of women talking in the park and only when I came close enough I realized that they were sculptures.  And same here, some of the sculptures are so real that until you get closer to them you do not realize that you are looking at the sculptures
Wonderful surprise was waiting for us there.  The artists of the Grounds For Sculptures made Impressionistic paintings into sculptural groups so you walk into the painting itself instead of only looking at it.
See, I love museums now.  I can spend a lot of time in them but when I was a child it could get boring for me.  I could not relate sometimes and when I started travelling with my daughter I realized that it is more fun for her and me to draw or paint in the museum, to try to make a copy of our favorite painting as part of our visit.  We spent about 2 hours in one room once in London and it was the most satisfying experience.  It happened because we were sitting and drawing what we were looking at.  Such an amazing connection with the piece.
Anyway, here our fun started with me pretending to be a part of one of the sculptural groups.  And we continued and continued..  All three of us came up with ideas how to become a part of  this sculpture garden.
Time was flying and I also noticed  that instead of my regular relaxed and sweet mood that I usually experience in museums I was excited and full of energy.  My body felt really alive.
Then a click happened. I listened to Paramahamsa Nithyananda talking about it many times but I never experienced it this way.
Participation is the key.  Not just witnessing is required of us but participating.
Participation creates the ownership of the moment.
You become a creator.  You become ART.
This is the album from that weekend

Sunday, August 19, 2012

Theater Weekend or Perfect Setting

Yesterday my daughter, her friend and I went to visit our friend's son in his acting camp.
The area is beautiful.  Catskill Mountains, New York.  I have a lot of sweet memories there.  Many years ago our friends lived there.  We went to visit them almost every weekend.  It was the time full of hopes for our brighter and of course better future.  
Now looking from that future back into that time I can still feel how excited I was going there.  Anyway, the acting camp we were going to was something like a performance boot camp with multiple theaters and a lot of plays that were going on at the same time. I loved the choices for the plays. Our friend's son was in The Conference of the Birds.  (Persianمنطق الطیر‎, Mantiqu 't-Tayr, 1177)  which is a book of poems in Persian by Farid ud-Din Attar of approximately 4500 lines.  In the poem, the birds of the world gather to decide who is to be their king, as they have none. The hoopoe, the wisest of them all, suggests that they should find the legendary Simorgh, a mythical Persian bird roughly equivalent to the western phoenix. The hoopoe leads the birds, each of whom represent a human fault which prevents man from attaining enlightenment. When the group of thirty birds finally reach the dwelling place of the Simorgh, all they find is a lake in which they see their own reflection.  (from Wikipedia)
I was thrilled that my daughter and her friends were able to see plays like that done  by such young actors at  such awesome level.
I have to admit I was really ready to enjoy and I was so happy I was not disappointed.  During a break in the performances we decided to explore the area a bit..
My friend had a recommendation for a place and we drove there.
It was a house/restaurant on the river with an outside grill and a promise of  live music 
The owners were a Russian artist and his American wife with eyes that had sparkles in them.
The building had a sign that there is a gallery on the second floor and we went there.  The show had some old and very Soviet style objects combined together as pieces of art.  All of them had mirrors as part of these objects. When you look at them, you are in fact looking at yourself ....inside the Soviet Era.  
I can not say that we had any nostalgia but it was so surreal that I felt that the whole  thing should have been video taped as a movie.  The moment I had that thought a young boy of about 8 years old who was mixing Russian and English words and sentences showed up.  He was enthusiastically trying to film people promising them he would put his video on YouTube.   I thought that videos need a lot of editing and planning.  Will this one involve that too?
We ate right next to the river, talked.  It was relaxing and sweet and then as if again it was not sweet and relaxing enough two older Italian men started to sing.  They were professional musicians who retired and had a restaurant somewhere close.  They came to celebrate this restaurant's 4th year anniversary.  
These Italian singers with their Italian music and their gorgeous Italian voices were taking over this place in the middle of the woods with blue skies and a gentle river.  Their music and the art work from former Soviet Union had NOTHING in common and none the less  everything and everyone was in perfect harmony.  
It was easy for us to enjoy all this because it is a theater weekend after all and everything is possible in a theater.  It was a perfect setting for a perfect theater weekend and I thought that after all Life a theater and we are all actors, right?    Who said that?  I can not remember now...
Amazing harmony of non-combinable things struck me again and again when I was looking at the scene  and I thought to myself: Life does not need editing, it is perfect the way it is.

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Post Nirahara Samyama Experience

This post is about the changes I noticed so far after this experience.
I can say I am still overwhelmed that it was possible.  I remember how difficult any food limitations or rules were for me.  The same moment something was declared not good and had to be taken out of the diet, I would be craving it all the time.  Quite torturous    This probably applies to any kind of rules.  Just kidding.
Anyway, here I was.  The puja was done and I was allowed to eat now.
I was concerned if my stomach would take food in a normal way or it will need some adjustments.  I remember that Paaramahamsa Nithyananda said that we needed to drink something acidic so I had grapefruit juice and it felt really really good.
I was breaking the fast at my girlfriend's house and she prepared a real treat with organic products and nice recipes.  I felt great.  Actually I felt that I never really stopped eating at all.
So these are the things that I noticed.
1. A much more sensible palette that allows you to enjoy every meal more.
2. I eat much much slower and ...that makes it more enjoyable too.
3. I loved nuts and chips (healthy, unhealthy) and felt that would be the first thing I would eat but have not touched it.  So maybe that was the food pattern that was removed during practice.  I think I will cook with nuts from time to time of course.
4. I feel my sense of smell became stronger.
5. I also noticed that the cooking became enjoyable again for me.  I had a little issue in the recent years when it seemed like I lost the joy of it.
6. I discovered new tastes, like goat mil, that I enjoy.
7. I am calmer in genereal
8. I lost weight.
9. When and if I am hungry I do the technique from Nirahara Samyama and the hunger still goes away.

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Should a mother work?

In my recent conversation with mom, she said something like: "Well, you, Lena should have been focusing on having a regular job.  I always worked and see you are fine."
I kept thinking about it because it is an endless debate about what a woman's role is, does she have to work, does she have to stay home and focus on the kids. Is every single woman able to give her kids what  they need or in some cases it is better that a mother works?  What would I have become if my mom had been focused on me?
I do not feel that any solution except "whatever works for your family" has been ever found.
I personally experienced both:  I had to start working when my son was 2 y.o. and I created a job for myself  that allows me to be home for my 13 year old daughter almost all the time.  I love the second way so much more.  I feel happy and grateful that I am around for her.
I also keep wondering what if I had a higher consciousness guiding me through childhood and teenage years.  Let's take it to another level and imagine that this being is your own mother.  Imagine a child has a question and the answer comes not from old, often harmful for a young mind patterns but from a higher plane.  I probably would have contributed to the society much more.
What if our daughters develop this higher consciousness?  Wouldn't it be the best contribution to the society that a mother can make?  Changing the society one human being at a time...
A little follow up on the post came yesterday from Paramahamsa Nithyananda.  He called modern schools "jails" where kids learn to experience fear and loose confidence so that later on they can be easily ruled by the society.   These are strong words but how true they are in so many cases!   He also said that if you have a career and it is more important for you than your kids, you should just enjoy your career.  If you do want to be a parent  then being a parent should be a priority.  There should be no excuse that you have no money to be with your children.  Be aware of your plans before you start a family.  Raising a human being is your primary responsibility.

Sudden Bliss

My daughter came back from her trip with dad yesterday.
The house right away was filled with her intense energy.  We looked at the photos, she told me all sorts of details: and hiking, and riding a horse and catching crabs.
She also got a chance to see a daughter of our friends.  She described it as an inspirational experience and meeting with an inspirational person.  I asked her how so and she said that she remembered that girl being kind of goth, dark, withdrawn.  My daughter said that she took herself out of it.  Now she is an open, smart, healthy, extremely bright young lady.  She is older than my daughter by 2 years.  Alice said that she had never seen that happened in her school.  Once kids withdrew themselves, they do not go back.
I was so happy for my daughter!  She met a new and wonderful friend and she can see and understand things way beyond what I could understand at 13 (maybe even later.)
Anyway, we laughed and giggled and she looked me in the eyes and said :"Mommy, I love you."
I went to bed and thought that it would be nice to experience a dream as beautiful as this reality.  I closed my eyes and a rush of intense bliss energy went through my body and I saw my daughter's eyes and I felt every bit of the moment I was in:  home with two children sleeping somewhere close to me, with my dog lying next to Alice's door hoping she would open it and he would sneak in...
I was wide awake.  I enjoyed it for several minutes, said thank you and fell asleep...   


Friendship: maybe different colors but similar inner art.

Saturday, August 4, 2012

Inspiration for today

By Virgil
With love my song begins
Of love all things are
Father makes the earth fruitful
He cares for my verses

I hope I remembered this correctly.  
Imagine if every artist feels just that.


I now fully realize what my step father and uncle were talking about when saying  that you have to travel if you an artist.  It is an expansion from the work in the studio.
Of course you continue working on your skills when you paint in plain air but this is not my point.
I noticed that when I come to a different place I have absolutely different ideas on what to pain, what media to use.  I think the inspiration comes from the place itself.  That new place asks you  to express itself through you.
So bottom line -
My lesson is: Travel, and travel a lot.  Do not get settled in one place and work from there.  Pictures, however beautiful , are still already a second hand look at the creation.  Get the first hand.  Express YOUR experience.

Friday, August 3, 2012

Last Day of Nirahara Samyana started...

Last day has started.  Tomorrow at 9:30 pm I will break the fast.
Total of 20 days of No Hunger Meditation.  I only drank coconut water and water, no food,
Discoveries for me:
- We really do not need food as much as we think we do.  It is all just programmed in us. 
- Food equals love.  Really true.  When I was fasting and only taking water I was still cooking for my son with such pleasure and creativity that I felt that truth inside my body.  It was a  very enjoyable experience.
- I became more sensible to sugars.  I could not drink coconut water for the last 5 days of the fast.  Felt too sweet.  I diluted it but now just stick to water.
- Body feels really really light.  If you can imagine that you lightheaded but that feeling is in your whole body.  I feel I walk lighter, I feel lighter.  I am able to focus really easily though.
- Food is entertainment and as with any form of entertainment, it needs to be enjoyed with a lot of awareness.
- When and if while cooking I was thinking about food I came up with a lot recipes to try, even snacks.   I already made some but have to wait to try!
- Most friends were concerned that it was something harmful.  I have not experienced any side effects at all so from my experience it was not.
I am totally looking for breaking the fast but not because I experience hunger but because I want to share a meal with a friend or family as a sign of love and just that ...sharing ...
I am very grateful for those who supported me, especially my new friend Nitya.  I would not have started this without her.  I am very grateful for my daughter who did it partially but when I saw her not eating for 8 days it made me think that I probably could do it too.
It was great that we were told many times that we could drop the practice any time, no need to struggle.  I feel that idea that I could stop any time made it such a pleasant commitment. 
I am very thankful to Swamiji Nithyananda for making this possible for all of us who participated.  He says that his job as an incarnation is to make difficult practices easy.  Wonderful job he is doing!

Thursday, August 2, 2012

When you wake up....

Big click for me today came from Nithyananda's talk.  I spent a day at a spa with my girlfriend and  we talked a lot about different sufferings that we experience.  We comforted each other as  best as we could (she is good  in comforting!).
And then at night Swamiji said that No suffering is worth a second of your time.  At the end, when you die and wake up, you will look at all these sufferings the same way you look now at the nightmares you have from time to time.  You will think that it is all big BS and was not worth any of your time.
Seems better not to wait until we die to decide not to suffer...

Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Nirahara Samyama - 8th day, level 3

My observations:
1. Do not want to talk.  Feeling silence inside.
2. Energy level is the same, no drop.  Body feels light.
3. I did not like the taste of coconut water today.  It seemed too sweet so I diluted it and my total intake was probably one forth of the glass.
Three more days for this third level.  So far total without food these three weeks - 17 days.

Sunday, July 29, 2012

Jesus's Darshan

I was looking for the post about this event and could not find it so I am going to describe it again not to forget.
Last year in August of 2011 we went on an unforgettable trip to Israel, Greece and Italy on a cruise and with friends too!  There was an incredible amount of things to see, remember, enjoy and of course eat. 
I would like to describe this one experience in Israel.  Overall I felt this area as a navel center of the planet.  It needs to be healed!  It needs to be transformed so that the heart energy will make it possible to resolve the situation.  I wish we spent more time learning about the history there but even a glimpse into it  made a huge impact on all of us.
Anyway, when we came to the place where Jesus's tomb and the cave was our guide suggested we go to the place where Greek orthodox church had a small temple because the crowd from the main entrance was huge and  the waiting line was long.
We did go but then I thought that there was no way I was going to leave this place without being inside because what was more important than being inside?  I took my place at the end of the line and invited my daughter to stay with me.  I took my Nithyananda  necklace and said "Dear Swamiji, I really want to experience Jesus's darshan. Thank you Swamiji."  The line started moving and I realized it was moving pretty quickly.  The guards (priests) were not really allowing people to stay inside for a long time.  Our turn was approaching.  Now we could see the inside are.  It was very crowded.  Two rows of people and again moving too fast to my  taste.
Our turn.   And here is the magic part.  The  guard let all the people out.  When the cave was empty he invited me and my daughter inside.  We stayed there, just her and me praying.  Time stopped.  He then let a nun to come in.  All three of us prayed now.
I would not be able to describe that experience,  It was beyond words as any encouter with God is.  Our prayers were over, he let us all out and ... right after we left  many people at once went in and many people at once moved and the whole commotion started again...
I thought to myself: "Thank you for this wonderful Darshan, Swamiji)

From Nithyananda

"Time is a painting done on a canvas of life."

Mixing colors

A lot of things about us can be revealed when you see how we paint.
To give a personal example I often look at things from right/wrong stand point.  I also often paint with colors that I either mix straight on the canvas or  layer them next to each other.
Two practices can be done here for artists like myself if we wish to expand:  One is practicing patience and working slowly with no rush, enjoying small and subtle changes.  Another one is seeing the  transformation of colors on the palette and enjoying that transformation noticing the process.  
Soon the realization of how one thing gives birth to another, or this new color or shade of the color comes to life.  How the old colors or things are still a part of this new one!  How everything transforms!  Maybe eventually less right/wrong attitude too...

Drawing from different angles

It is a great exercise in awareness for beginner arttists.
Place an object above the eye level, at the eye level and below the eye level.   Ask yourself how you feel about the object, what angle is the most comfortable?  You have to be fully present to do this exercise if you are new in drawing because your mental files/pictures about things will not help you.  You need to see...
Deliberately confuse your mind with the placement of the object.  Tell your mind that at this point you need to see as much as possible, tell it not to give you ideas or common knowledge like that table legs are straight, etc.    Tell over and over: "I want to see."  Eventually your mind will cooperate.
Art has a lot of training opportunities in mindfulness.

Zooming in

When you do a close up of anything, everything else disappears.  Pay attention what you are zooming in... 

Final touches

Last final touches are the ones  that make great paintings.  Finishing things that you started with grace and responsibility will bring joy and satisfaction in life.
Starting something but then dropping it before it is truly finished will lead to disappointment and regrets later in life.  Unfinished paintings remind me of unfinished promises.
Figure out what does not work right before you drop the painting.  Take another look at the moment when you decided it was not good.  Figure out what exactly was not working and before you move on either fix it or drop it or better fix it and then drop it!


White or Light is the absence of  black/dark.
Only after you bring light into a room you can paint.  Only after you bring light or spirituality into your life you can live...
Inside the intense light you need a different pair of eyes,  just like when you look at the solar eclipse you need a dark tinted glass to be able to see. Enlightenment vision is different from ours.  Maybe it does not require a tinted dark glass to see?

From my art class 2

- What happening on the planet would impress you the most in 50 years?, I asked my students.
- All countries united under one flag!, said one of the high school students.

Insecure Imagination

In one of his discourses Nithyananda said that we need to get "comfortable with our most insecure imaginations".    What if these imaginations are not imaginations any more?
Today one of my relations said some mean words.  My reaction was pouring tears.
I kept thinking asking myself what triggered such a deep depression and hurt.  My son came downstairs and comforted me.  I am always amazed by his insights.
Anyway, while talking to him I figured this out:  I have been trying to build a family, community in which people would not call each other bad names when they are upset.  I have to say that I have failed because ...wrong goal. 
There is no way I can protect myself from bad words or mean actions.  I do need to develop a thicker skin and un-clutch faster.  
It is my most insecure imagination that I am called names and unloved by people whom I love.  It is happening, it is not even imagination so do I have enough un-clutching in me to live through that?

Friday, July 27, 2012

Art 3 /Note from Osho

I love Osho's Tarot readings.  They speak a lot to me.
I went on the site and got the reading.  The card read Exhaustion!  Then there was this:  "
Some of the Commentary:
This is the portrait of one who...... has been so busy "keeping it all together" and "making sure everything runs smoothly", that he has forgotten to really rest. No doubt he can't allow himself to be playful. To abandon his duty for a trip to the beach could mean the whole structure might come tumbling down. The message of this card is not just about being a workaholic, though. It is about all the ways in which we set up safe but unnatural routines for ourselves and, by doing so, keep the chaotic and spontaneous away from our doors. Life isn't a business to be managed, it's a mystery to be lived. It's time to tear up the time-card, break out of the factory, and take a little trip into the uncharted. Your work can flow more smoothly from a relaxed state of mind.
Wow, I thought.  I am sitting and planning the creativity itself in a planned and organized manner! 
I Have been cleaning the house the whole week and on many occasions I stopped myself when I had an idea for a painting because it was not the right time and I was ..... cleaning the closet!
Notice that I also planned to start on Monday.  Don't we all start something on Monday, New Year, etc.
Thank you Osho!!! Starting now and will not set a special time.  Will just be in the flow.  

Thursday, July 26, 2012


We live in a fast, fast world. Our daily to do lists are probably what our mothers would consider a nice list for a month.
Maybe I am exaggerating, maybe not.  The point is we are busy.  I personally love that and I also love all my projects and all my friends and I do not want to give up anything!  Do you feel the same?
At the same time, I do want to stay healthy so where do I find time to exercise?
Of course when you love something, you can always make time but I do not really like to exercise.   So it is.  It hit me that it is in fact the best solution. You work on everything: muscles, flexibility, internal organs, mind at the same  time!     How can you be more efficient than that?
A friend of mine who always says that he can not really do yoga because of the bad knees should come to the class and look at the 60 year old man in a knee brace.  He came to yoga to fix his knee!  As one of the instructors said a lot of yoga teachers start as teachers because they had an injury.  So now we established that it is a physical therapy too.  
Anything else I forgot?

ART 2 Getting ready

The experiment that I wanted to do for some  time is to be painting, writing non-stop for 48 hours: no food, no sleep, basically nothing else.  I wanted to do longer but decided to start with just a little bit.
I am so busy all year teaching. learning, family, etc that I do not have that much time to relax and just paint and go deeper with the Art.  It is always in  between other things.  Not that I am complaining but now I have that opportunity to do that, go deeper.
Anyway, the food part is easy due  to Samyama so I am debating if I should  go to yoga or not.   Probably I will still do yoga.  No sleep though.  If completely tired then maybe a nap.
Maybe Saraswati will come to visit?

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Sleepless in Sparta

Yesterday, Nithyananda initiated us in a third level of Nirahara Samyama which is awakening of the power of getting energy (prana) directly from space (ether) in our bio memory and  Kundalini awakening.  
The meditation was very powerful.  He reminded us again that there is no need to struggle and if we experience hunger we should stop and go back to regular diet because comes the best part...If Samyama works correctly,  you will not experience hunger!
I was about to leave my friend's house  with whom we meditate every evening when she said: "Well, it is just 11 days, not our whole life."  True, I thought.
          Long time ago, on my first ever visit to the United States I came as an interpreter for a Russian  folk artist who was scheduled to perform at Blue Grass Festival in Alabama.  The crowd was expected to be about 2000 people and I was really uncomfortable with being in front of that big crowd on a stage translating.  My childhood friend looked at me the same way as my wonderful new friend did yesterday and said: "Just think it is for this short time.  It is not your whole life."    It did work in 1993 so there is hope it will work this time too.
I came home and went to bed.  I stayed in my bed for about 10 min when I realized that I was wide awake, I felt that I just woke up after a powerful nap, I was full of energy wanted to do something other than lying in bed.  I opened my computer and blissfully worked till 4:30 in the morning.  I woke up at 10am today though, not at 6 as always.  I feel great and now I am thinking that maybe I have too much attachment to sleep?!
Well, third level has started!

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Nirahara Samyama jokes

1.  My son calls from work with a question about dinner.  I started naming:  vegetarian pizza, rice with vegetables, pancakes with homemade peach marmalade... Before I could finish he said: "Mom, did we have company?"  "No, I said,  I just had a break in my yoga practice and could eat today."....

2. During satsang Swamiji was explaining that average flow of an enlighten being is a miracle for a conscious person.  I remembered how in 2008 there was a girl in India who kept getting candy from Swamiji's photo.  For some reason I felt it was such a special story (I am thinking now because it was food related) that I decided to tell it to my friends at the satsang.  At the end of the story I proudly said that I do have that picture at home.  My friend's husband looked at me smiling and said : "Do you  get candy?"
I thought a little and said: "No, I get only Nirahara Samyama!"

**Samyama is awakening of the powers in your biomemory and Nirahara Samyama is awakening the ability to live without food.  The practice so far included meditation, chanting inside the throat, un-clutching and the  best part - no food, only water or coconut water.

Music Video "Beautiful"

As a very supportive parent I had to learn a lot of new things.  This is normal for almost all parents of course.
I think I took it to the next level when my daughter started writing songs and I faced the reality that I had no connections in the music industry. I also have no knowledge of marketing the music, legalities of music industry. It is really a long list.  I feel I know so  little that I do not even know what I do not know.
Anyhow, What to do as Swamiji says.  After brainstorming  i started thinking who can help.
Turned out that I do not have connections to any famous people but I do have friends who are young musicians.  I got to know them through my son and I love their music,  personalities.  Also most of them are multi talented and love to take pictures, make videos, etc.  The journey started.
First clip was Beautiful,. The day started slow.  Alice was warming up to them.  After an hour and a half all three of them were running around fully involved in the process of creating.  By three I mean the director, the camera man and  Alice.  Ideas were popping up, smiles, jokes.  it was a fountain of creativity.
As an older and still more serious person than these guys I was holding the costumes and a make up kit.  Funny enough, the song is about loving and accepting yourself so make up kit does not really fly with this idea but ...I had it.  And since I saw in many movies that people use it and there are make up artists who take care of actors I attempted several times to offer them the make up kit I was holding.  I have to admit that I felt funny about it due to the meaning of the song.
Every time I would offer it they would all look at me very politely, wait until I finish the sentence and then say "thanks , we are good"  That small interruption and then the fountain will start again.
It was amazing, amazing , amazing.  Being with talented people is such a blessing!!!!
Here is the video  Hope you will enjoy!  The age of the creators:  13 is the youngest, 23 is the oldest! 

ART 1 - Useless planning

I was thinking for the longest time that  I wanted to describe my art experiences and I kept postponing writing about them because I thought I need a separate place and a good plan (I am a planner !) for these thoughts.  Today I realized I really do not need a separate place because a lot of them can in fact qualify as deep spiritual experiences and if I ever need  to compile all art post I would just copy and paste from here.  So there, no more dilemma.
It is amazing how procrastination and trying to make  this "best possible decision" takes away from the actual doing.  I could have started this at least a year ago but I was figuring out the right way. The Universe probably was laughing hard and saying "the right way?  Start already, enough. When was that last time when you actually figured out a perfect plan or started the "right away.  Yup.  No one remembers."
Funny.  The thought of doing something right prevents you from doing.  This thought can be both: really useful or really useless...

This is crazy!, she said.

Today I am starting Level 3 of Nirahara Samyama or No Hunger meditation with Nithyananda.  So far I was able to do 8 days with a break.  No hunger, a lot of awareness and a lot of lightness in the body. 
Such difficult spiritual practice was made so easy for all of us!  At this point there are about 300 people all over the world following it.
I was talking to a friend of mine and when she heard that I was planning to do level 3 she immediately responded:”This is crazy!”.   I did not feel that she was admiring my plan, rather that it is something scary and weird and not necessarily right.
I thought about it a little
It does sound crazy.  But the craziest part is that person who is a mother, an artist, a friend, a volunteer, a business owner can do such a thing without stopping any of her activities, staying blissful and happy. 
Our old ideas about the world and how things work are falling apart fast, aren’t they?

Saturday, July 21, 2012

Amma's Darshan

Amma, the hugging saint from Inida spent three days in New York.  I went to get her darshan for the first time.  I heard about her from a lot of my friends and everyone was describing meeting her as a special experience, comparing to meeting a Mother. 
I did my Guru Puja in the morning, asked Swamiji’s blessings to have a great experience and went to NYC.
The hall was full of people.  As always in NY the crowd is beautifully unique: a typical Indian family in a traditional dress was sitting right next to an executive in a white shirt, expensive suit and a great haircut.  I am mentioning the haircut because the next person was with a hair tough to describe but probably rarely this hair experienced soap and water, forget the haircut itself .  I saw bare feet saddhus that looked so similar to their Himalayan brothers.  Really all walks of life manifested…
Enjoying this colorful scenery I was patiently waiting for the program.  The line was long.  Finally I got my token that was necessary to get a hug from Amman and was put into another line to be seated.   The seating was to the side of the stage where she was going to be giving the darshan.  Right at the moment when it was my turn to be seated one of the volunteers came and asked me “Are you alone?”  “Yes” I said.  “Follow me then”.  She took me into the middle section right in front of the stage.   “Thank you Swamiji”, I thought.
The puja, talk and meditation were wonderful.   They even gave little containers with holy water to everyone. 
When the darshan started I walked around a little bit and saw that people were continuing to come and everyone was planning to stay overnight.  I sat close to the stage to enjoy the view of Amma’s powerful hugs.
After sometime a girl showed up with a sign.  The sign asked to do Seva (volunteering). She stood in front of us with a sign and no one responded.  I did not respond either.  She moved to the side and the sign was still up and no one responded.  I stood up and said that I could help but most likely I would have to leave soon since I did not want to stay overnight.  She asked what was my token and looking at my number it seemed that my turn would be up sometime at 5 am in the morning.  I told her that I would help but would not wait for the darshan and we went to the area where the help was needed. 
A new volunteer came,  looked at me and said “Give me your ticket.  I have a G1 ticket and you will go for the darshan soon, just help now whatever you can. 
The darshan line said F3 so G1 was next!!!!
The darshan was wonderful.  She spoke some simple Russian words when she was hugging me “my dear, my dear, my dear”.
I of course thanked my Swamiji and the Universe.  I thought my lesson was don’t just sit and hope for something, do something so it is easier for the Universe to help you.   What do you think my lesson was?

Tuesday, July 17, 2012


Today Swamiji confirmed my long time guess that He is only a mirror of what or who we are.
This idea came to me when I noticed that when a person with a very strong ego looks at Nithyananda they always say: "Look, He is just full of himself."   When a humble person looks at him they say : "Look, He is so great but so simple."  When a person who really loves the idea of God as Krishna looks at him he or she says: "He is Krishna.  No doubt.  Look at him laughing!"  When a person who loves Shiva looks at him, they say: "He is Shiva himself, he will destroy your ego, don't ever doubt that!"
I have met a Christian minister who was convinced that Nithyananda was Jesus who came back as he promised to create a new world.
I am  not describing something in general, or some phenomena that I witness from a distance. All these impressions and conversations happened with closest to me people,: friends, relatives, coworkers!
Just like he said today:  "I am just a mirror.  I hold it in front of me for You to see You.  Once you realize that you are seeing your ultimate idea of yourself, YOU WILL WAKE UP."
Is this alarm for me?

Sunday, July 15, 2012

Supportive Signs

My friend and I started doing a special yoga practice to release samskaras with food.  We first had to fast 48 hours (level 1)  then a break and then 7 days then a break and 11 days then a break and 21 days but the last one I guess should be with Swamiji himself.   We only finished 48 hours as of now and we will see if we last.  That would be so awesome if we actually finished the whole thing.
Anyway, I was thrilled to have a two way connection with Swamiji (it is required for this) and also I am thrilled to do a practice like that with someone else.  Her whole family is supportive of what she is doing so it is a wonderful atmosphere in her house: warm and sweet.
Well, today another wonderful surprise greeted me.  When I walked into the room I saw my own daughter on the screen!  She was giving the interview about the program she attended in India last year.  I have never seen it.  I knew she was interviewed but I have never seen it.
It was amazing.  She was so sweet and smart and so well articulated.  Her face was relaxed like there is no worry in the world or even if there is a worry she knows what to do about it.  Sweet. Sweet. Sweet.
The name of the program is eN-Genious.  It is for kids up to 14 years old. As she told me she plans to take Inner Awakening Program for adults.  She is confident she would get a permission.  If she does I would take it too with her.   Feeling blessed.

Friday, June 22, 2012

Parenting by Existence

My daughter was asked to babysit for the first time in her life.  She is thirteen and impressed me with the ability to create trust in other adults  to take care of their daughter. 
They are friends on mine and they do know Alice of course but still.
She planned the whole day, 5 hours to be exact.  She negotiated her pay and was making sure that under no circumstances I would be supervising.  She is a big person now, she can handle a job.  I was so happy for her.  She packed and asked me one more time not to get involved.  
I  did not.  The only thing I did was not to give her a swim suit right away, I told her that I would drop it off later when they are ready for the  beach.  I wanted to take a peak..
It was an amazing day.
They spent some time on a trampoline, played with Barbie dolls and then went to the beach.  This family lives close to a beautiful beach on top of the mountain with a waterfall.  She swam with her little friend  to the deck in the middle of a lake, read a book, ordered food for them and negotiated free drinks.  She figured out coupons! 
That was the best part:  Girl's father left her $20 to order food.  They ordered and the  total came to $24 so she called me asking to come and bring her $4 extra dollars.  I said that I am not sure it was the way to go.  So she said: 'Oh, wait, we ordered drinks and maybe  that what took us over the limit.  She called back the food place and said " I am a babysitter and only have $20 so what should I take off the bill to fit the budget.  Food place guided her to the site where she found coupons, and ....they got all what they ordered for $17 so she had money for the tip
She.cleaned the kitchen after they ate, locked the house, checked the lights, etc.  She was so proud
She also spoke to lifeguards on the beach and the girl explained to her how to become one and Alice said that she would be a lifeguard as her summer job in High school.

I felt I should have paid for all that actually....