Wednesday, March 14, 2012


I was in communication with three women today so total of four women talked about different subjects.  Ages 30 to 60.  Every single one made a mistake and every single one was not ok with making a mistake so I  think we all should practice mantra: It is ok to make mistakes.

Valentine's Story

A lot of people (especially teenagers) are experiencing anxiety around Valentine Day.  When kids are little they make cards for all their classmates and teachers and they get cards from all their classmates and  teachers.  But then Middle School  starts.  No one can make you make cards for all your friends.  Now they have to face the fantasy of the Valantine Day.
The movies are there of course.  Look, this person did not believe in Valentine Day but at the end of the movie she got her true love on Valentine evening.  Feel good movies.  By the way I love them.  I love movies with a feel good ending. 
For teenages Valentine is another way to feel that they are not loved or accepted.  Will I get a card from someone?  Will my friends give me cards? 
I have only one romantic Valentine memory. 
Picture this: 
We were separated with my husband.  I was sitting feeling very lonely and unloved.  It was heavy snow outside.  Then the car stopped at the end of our driveway.  My husband came out with a rose and started climbing through the snow that was hip deep.  He climbed and brought a rose.  ….  Aww..  Well,  did he stay and said that he loved me? And we lived happily ever after.  Nope.  
My Valentine story would not be that isnspiriong for my daughter.  
I think it would be really nice if Valentine’s day would be declared as a day of True Love, love to yourself.  Pleople would go out, buy flowers to themselves.  Think how cool it is to have their body, mind, spirit,  to enjoy themselves, etc.  
It can be Loving Kindness Day,  like a Buddhist meditaion.  First love yourself, then your parents,  teacher, friends, then neighborur, then enemy then random people, the earth, the plants and animals, the universe…oh I got carried away.

Dear Swamij, please announce the Love Day with New Rules.
But then, shouldn’t everyday be a Love Day?

A “show” story

I just finished working on a fundraiser vocal show.  The theme for this event was our global community.  Many students of my school shared their heritage through this show.  It was called “It’s a small world…after all”.    We had music from Russia, France, India, Spain, Germany, etc.
Every show or a big event is considered  and is felt as a stress.  Every little thing can be stressful:  from printing the flyers to deciding on the marketing to booking the tickets.  Of course shows are fun and rewarding when they are successful: the thank yous , the smiles, the flowers.  This can be called a pleasant stress.
I still have some residue of stress in me and during the dress rehearsal I thought there was no way in the world I would ever let myself believe that I could do a project like that and I told to a couple of my friends that they needed to remind me next year that I was not planning to do it again.
However, I did notice several things: I was not as tired as I used to be during the “getting ready” period and  I was not as needy for help as I used to be.  I was able to be there most of the time enjoying and smiling.
These are also just some “cute” circumstances that popped up:
-        The show was scheduled and then we realized that a different show would be running at the same time at the same place;
-        Some of my advanced students (they can really do a nice job) got the leads in the school plays so were not available for my project;
-        On the day before the opening night my husband (we have been together, sometimes happily together sometimes unhappily for about 20 years) told me that we were going to divorce;
-        My computer that had the music for the show crushed before one of the shows:
-        We had a big number of disabled children at one of the shows and it was challenging to perform for some of my kids because they are not professional performers just yet and they felt so sad for these disabled kids;
-        My friend who would spend days coordinating with me a birthday party to make sure I would make it could not find one day out of three performers to come to support what I have been doing for almost three months;
-        The performers were running late sometimes and not always on their best behavior (they are children after all);
-        The last day of the benefit we could not even start on time because the play was oversold. 

Would you consider these different circumstances as stress?  I bet yes.  Me too

 A friend of mine told me during one of the shows: ”I am looking at you and there is chaos everywhere but you are peaceful and smiling.  What is the secret?”   And I thought to myself:  “Well, I do have one.”
We made $1,500 for our local community theater and all the performances were fantastic  I will have to learn the science of an un-clutched divorce though.  That part is tough still.