Friday, June 22, 2012

Parenting by Existence

My daughter was asked to babysit for the first time in her life.  She is thirteen and impressed me with the ability to create trust in other adults  to take care of their daughter. 
They are friends on mine and they do know Alice of course but still.
She planned the whole day, 5 hours to be exact.  She negotiated her pay and was making sure that under no circumstances I would be supervising.  She is a big person now, she can handle a job.  I was so happy for her.  She packed and asked me one more time not to get involved.  
I  did not.  The only thing I did was not to give her a swim suit right away, I told her that I would drop it off later when they are ready for the  beach.  I wanted to take a peak..
It was an amazing day.
They spent some time on a trampoline, played with Barbie dolls and then went to the beach.  This family lives close to a beautiful beach on top of the mountain with a waterfall.  She swam with her little friend  to the deck in the middle of a lake, read a book, ordered food for them and negotiated free drinks.  She figured out coupons! 
That was the best part:  Girl's father left her $20 to order food.  They ordered and the  total came to $24 so she called me asking to come and bring her $4 extra dollars.  I said that I am not sure it was the way to go.  So she said: 'Oh, wait, we ordered drinks and maybe  that what took us over the limit.  She called back the food place and said " I am a babysitter and only have $20 so what should I take off the bill to fit the budget.  Food place guided her to the site where she found coupons, and ....they got all what they ordered for $17 so she had money for the tip
She.cleaned the kitchen after they ate, locked the house, checked the lights, etc.  She was so proud
She also spoke to lifeguards on the beach and the girl explained to her how to become one and Alice said that she would be a lifeguard as her summer job in High school.

I felt I should have paid for all that actually....

Thursday, June 14, 2012

Moving the mountain

I kept thinking about it.  For the media to tell a story about a hospital being built or education being provided you need to built 1000 hospitals (mostly you will get one article, it will definitely Not go viral).  I also do not believe any amount of education provided will make them pay attention but (!) even if one dirty, made up story is told once somewhere they all go after that story and will promote  that event like crazy.  Their ratings will go up right away too!  The media seems to be in business of keeping people on the planet in the lower level of consciousness or they are the ones representing the conscious level of the humanity?  Whatever it is, the events like the one we are witnessing now shows what mountain the Spiritual Masters are moving...They are not trying to move, they ARE MOVING...

Wednesday, June 13, 2012


Well, again...
I meant that someone is climbing the ashram walls,abusing ashramites and media is "reporting" but really just making stuff up and satsang.
Communication from the ashram is the same as always:  you have been trained so start living the teachings, start un-clutching and stop the drama; no illegal actions will help, we are going to follow the law.
I totally understand the "stop the drama" part but my being is still longing for peaceful meditations, nice growth of the sanga, etc.
I have to share this one story though.  Last year when I was volunteering in the ashram there was one point when I asked myself looking at Swmiji: would there be any time when he adjusts himself to fit the society or he will continue to create the rollacoasters to see if we do in fact live his teachings or just read or listen to them and then have the nerve to preach to others.  The answer came very clearly, I saw it in my head, I felt it and it was: No way He will ever be predictable,  no way he will try to fit our rules.
He will continue doing what he thinks is necessary even if we do not understand.
I  got sad but then kind of settled with that thought.  Yup,  He knows why he is doing, what he is doing and my job is to be blissful so before I do anything I have to remember to un-clutch and bliss will follow...


I spent last weekend at the Vedic Art Workshop in NYC.  I came home from that workshop with several paintings, mostly abstract.  All of them were done in a very short period of time and I experienced such a great state while painting them.
The art show is coming up this weekend at my school and I was discussing with my students what they want to put in the art show. Criteria for most of them was how much time they spent working on a painting.
I kept talking about a moment and inspiration and how it is not the amount of time that determines  the value of your art.  Then I got curious if I were able to do what I was preaching.  Would I be able to exhibit the pieces from my workshop and not the traditional art?
I felt my body going into all sorts of doubts:  I can be misunderstood, misjudged etc  I decided to go to WalMart (frames there cost almost nothing and there was no way I would get an expensive frames for these paintings!).
I put my paintings on the floor with the frames and started questioning myself again.  If I say to my students to display and not fear the judgement then I should do it too but my work should represent the school and what I teach and I do not teach abstract art that much.  We maybe do couple of abstract sessions a year at most....
While I was standing there looking at my art on the floor with the matching frames I heard :"Mom, come , come. Fast!  I found a  treasure!"  An eight year old boy was standing right next to my paintings pointing at one of them.  I smiled and said: "Thank you."  His mom asked if they were my paintings.  I said yes and we chatted a little.  I then asked the boy which ones he liked the most and he picked two for me to display for sure at the show.  Now that I am typing this story I am thinking I should have given at least one of them to him since he was the one who ,found a treasure...

Friday, June 8, 2012

From my Art Class

One girl put acrylic paint on the other girl's shirt (actually by accident).  The girl with a paint on her shirt immediately turned around and put paint on the first girl's shirt.  The first girl said: "Ms.Lena, look what she did.."  I turned to the class and said: "Oh, well, that was not a great decision but who actually can tell me why?"  Another girl said "Eye for an eye will make the whole world go blind?"    Love my students!

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Addicted to pooja and meditation or charged by them?

Couple of weeks ago I had a difficult week in our family life.  Really difficult.  I also noticed that despite of the difficulties I can stay calm and peaceful if I do my daily practice: pooja and meditation.  I actually think  that pooja itself is enough for me to stay peaceful.  Taking a note of that I decided that is addiction and so I ...rebelled.  I STOPPED ALL PRACTICE.
This happened on Tuesday.  By Friday I was a little depressed and had plenty of anxiety.  Saturday afternoon I had a recital for my school and after that we were going for a rather emotional event (cancer awareness "Relay for life").
I woke up, felt my inner being and went to get flowers for pooja.  There was no way I could handle the activities of the day, create a wonderful relaxing experience for our Biryukov families in that state.
I did pooja twice and sat for meditation after it as well.  My state was peaceful, blissful and I had a feeling that I am well taken care of.
Conclusion:  If I used the word "Charged by my spiritual practice instead of addicted to my spiritual practice, I would not have stopped the practice.  I tasted the ability to function without stress and it is hard and very unpleasant to  go back to the old ways.  Well, I of course wish to experience waking up in the same mood that I am during meditation and staying in that same mood/space all the time without loosing it even if no practice was done.  But for that I guess I need more practice first... and I need to choose words wisely...