Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Nirahara Samyama - 8th day, level 3

My observations:
1. Do not want to talk.  Feeling silence inside.
2. Energy level is the same, no drop.  Body feels light.
3. I did not like the taste of coconut water today.  It seemed too sweet so I diluted it and my total intake was probably one forth of the glass.
Three more days for this third level.  So far total without food these three weeks - 17 days.

Sunday, July 29, 2012

Jesus's Darshan

I was looking for the post about this event and could not find it so I am going to describe it again not to forget.
Last year in August of 2011 we went on an unforgettable trip to Israel, Greece and Italy on a cruise and with friends too!  There was an incredible amount of things to see, remember, enjoy and of course eat. 
I would like to describe this one experience in Israel.  Overall I felt this area as a navel center of the planet.  It needs to be healed!  It needs to be transformed so that the heart energy will make it possible to resolve the situation.  I wish we spent more time learning about the history there but even a glimpse into it  made a huge impact on all of us.
Anyway, when we came to the place where Jesus's tomb and the cave was our guide suggested we go to the place where Greek orthodox church had a small temple because the crowd from the main entrance was huge and  the waiting line was long.
We did go but then I thought that there was no way I was going to leave this place without being inside because what was more important than being inside?  I took my place at the end of the line and invited my daughter to stay with me.  I took my Nithyananda  necklace and said "Dear Swamiji, I really want to experience Jesus's darshan. Thank you Swamiji."  The line started moving and I realized it was moving pretty quickly.  The guards (priests) were not really allowing people to stay inside for a long time.  Our turn was approaching.  Now we could see the inside are.  It was very crowded.  Two rows of people and again moving too fast to my  taste.
Our turn.   And here is the magic part.  The  guard let all the people out.  When the cave was empty he invited me and my daughter inside.  We stayed there, just her and me praying.  Time stopped.  He then let a nun to come in.  All three of us prayed now.
I would not be able to describe that experience,  It was beyond words as any encouter with God is.  Our prayers were over, he let us all out and ... right after we left  many people at once went in and many people at once moved and the whole commotion started again...
I thought to myself: "Thank you for this wonderful Darshan, Swamiji)

From Nithyananda

"Time is a painting done on a canvas of life."

Mixing colors

A lot of things about us can be revealed when you see how we paint.
To give a personal example I often look at things from right/wrong stand point.  I also often paint with colors that I either mix straight on the canvas or  layer them next to each other.
Two practices can be done here for artists like myself if we wish to expand:  One is practicing patience and working slowly with no rush, enjoying small and subtle changes.  Another one is seeing the  transformation of colors on the palette and enjoying that transformation noticing the process.  
Soon the realization of how one thing gives birth to another, or this new color or shade of the color comes to life.  How the old colors or things are still a part of this new one!  How everything transforms!  Maybe eventually less right/wrong attitude too...

Drawing from different angles

It is a great exercise in awareness for beginner arttists.
Place an object above the eye level, at the eye level and below the eye level.   Ask yourself how you feel about the object, what angle is the most comfortable?  You have to be fully present to do this exercise if you are new in drawing because your mental files/pictures about things will not help you.  You need to see...
Deliberately confuse your mind with the placement of the object.  Tell your mind that at this point you need to see as much as possible, tell it not to give you ideas or common knowledge like that table legs are straight, etc.    Tell over and over: "I want to see."  Eventually your mind will cooperate.
Art has a lot of training opportunities in mindfulness.

Zooming in

When you do a close up of anything, everything else disappears.  Pay attention what you are zooming in... 

Final touches

Last final touches are the ones  that make great paintings.  Finishing things that you started with grace and responsibility will bring joy and satisfaction in life.
Starting something but then dropping it before it is truly finished will lead to disappointment and regrets later in life.  Unfinished paintings remind me of unfinished promises.
Figure out what does not work right before you drop the painting.  Take another look at the moment when you decided it was not good.  Figure out what exactly was not working and before you move on either fix it or drop it or better fix it and then drop it!


White or Light is the absence of  black/dark.
Only after you bring light into a room you can paint.  Only after you bring light or spirituality into your life you can live...
Inside the intense light you need a different pair of eyes,  just like when you look at the solar eclipse you need a dark tinted glass to be able to see. Enlightenment vision is different from ours.  Maybe it does not require a tinted dark glass to see?

From my art class 2

- What happening on the planet would impress you the most in 50 years?, I asked my students.
- All countries united under one flag!, said one of the high school students.

Insecure Imagination

In one of his discourses Nithyananda said that we need to get "comfortable with our most insecure imaginations".    What if these imaginations are not imaginations any more?
Today one of my relations said some mean words.  My reaction was pouring tears.
I kept thinking asking myself what triggered such a deep depression and hurt.  My son came downstairs and comforted me.  I am always amazed by his insights.
Anyway, while talking to him I figured this out:  I have been trying to build a family, community in which people would not call each other bad names when they are upset.  I have to say that I have failed because ...wrong goal. 
There is no way I can protect myself from bad words or mean actions.  I do need to develop a thicker skin and un-clutch faster.  
It is my most insecure imagination that I am called names and unloved by people whom I love.  It is happening, it is not even imagination so do I have enough un-clutching in me to live through that?

Friday, July 27, 2012

Art 3 /Note from Osho

I love Osho's Tarot readings.  They speak a lot to me.
I went on the site and got the reading.  The card read Exhaustion!  Then there was this:  "
Some of the Commentary:
This is the portrait of one who...... has been so busy "keeping it all together" and "making sure everything runs smoothly", that he has forgotten to really rest. No doubt he can't allow himself to be playful. To abandon his duty for a trip to the beach could mean the whole structure might come tumbling down. The message of this card is not just about being a workaholic, though. It is about all the ways in which we set up safe but unnatural routines for ourselves and, by doing so, keep the chaotic and spontaneous away from our doors. Life isn't a business to be managed, it's a mystery to be lived. It's time to tear up the time-card, break out of the factory, and take a little trip into the uncharted. Your work can flow more smoothly from a relaxed state of mind.
Wow, I thought.  I am sitting and planning the creativity itself in a planned and organized manner! 
I Have been cleaning the house the whole week and on many occasions I stopped myself when I had an idea for a painting because it was not the right time and I was ..... cleaning the closet!
Notice that I also planned to start on Monday.  Don't we all start something on Monday, New Year, etc.
Thank you Osho!!! Starting now and will not set a special time.  Will just be in the flow.  

Thursday, July 26, 2012


We live in a fast, fast world. Our daily to do lists are probably what our mothers would consider a nice list for a month.
Maybe I am exaggerating, maybe not.  The point is we are busy.  I personally love that and I also love all my projects and all my friends and I do not want to give up anything!  Do you feel the same?
At the same time, I do want to stay healthy so where do I find time to exercise?
Of course when you love something, you can always make time but I do not really like to exercise.   So it is.  It hit me that it is in fact the best solution. You work on everything: muscles, flexibility, internal organs, mind at the same  time!     How can you be more efficient than that?
A friend of mine who always says that he can not really do yoga because of the bad knees should come to the class and look at the 60 year old man in a knee brace.  He came to yoga to fix his knee!  As one of the instructors said a lot of yoga teachers start as teachers because they had an injury.  So now we established that it is a physical therapy too.  
Anything else I forgot?

ART 2 Getting ready

The experiment that I wanted to do for some  time is to be painting, writing non-stop for 48 hours: no food, no sleep, basically nothing else.  I wanted to do longer but decided to start with just a little bit.
I am so busy all year teaching. learning, family, etc that I do not have that much time to relax and just paint and go deeper with the Art.  It is always in  between other things.  Not that I am complaining but now I have that opportunity to do that, go deeper.
Anyway, the food part is easy due  to Samyama so I am debating if I should  go to yoga or not.   Probably I will still do yoga.  No sleep though.  If completely tired then maybe a nap.
Maybe Saraswati will come to visit?

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Sleepless in Sparta

Yesterday, Nithyananda initiated us in a third level of Nirahara Samyama which is awakening of the power of getting energy (prana) directly from space (ether) in our bio memory and  Kundalini awakening.  
The meditation was very powerful.  He reminded us again that there is no need to struggle and if we experience hunger we should stop and go back to regular diet because comes the best part...If Samyama works correctly,  you will not experience hunger!
I was about to leave my friend's house  with whom we meditate every evening when she said: "Well, it is just 11 days, not our whole life."  True, I thought.
          Long time ago, on my first ever visit to the United States I came as an interpreter for a Russian  folk artist who was scheduled to perform at Blue Grass Festival in Alabama.  The crowd was expected to be about 2000 people and I was really uncomfortable with being in front of that big crowd on a stage translating.  My childhood friend looked at me the same way as my wonderful new friend did yesterday and said: "Just think it is for this short time.  It is not your whole life."    It did work in 1993 so there is hope it will work this time too.
I came home and went to bed.  I stayed in my bed for about 10 min when I realized that I was wide awake, I felt that I just woke up after a powerful nap, I was full of energy wanted to do something other than lying in bed.  I opened my computer and blissfully worked till 4:30 in the morning.  I woke up at 10am today though, not at 6 as always.  I feel great and now I am thinking that maybe I have too much attachment to sleep?!
Well, third level has started!

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Nirahara Samyama jokes

1.  My son calls from work with a question about dinner.  I started naming:  vegetarian pizza, rice with vegetables, pancakes with homemade peach marmalade... Before I could finish he said: "Mom, did we have company?"  "No, I said,  I just had a break in my yoga practice and could eat today."....

2. During satsang Swamiji was explaining that average flow of an enlighten being is a miracle for a conscious person.  I remembered how in 2008 there was a girl in India who kept getting candy from Swamiji's photo.  For some reason I felt it was such a special story (I am thinking now because it was food related) that I decided to tell it to my friends at the satsang.  At the end of the story I proudly said that I do have that picture at home.  My friend's husband looked at me smiling and said : "Do you  get candy?"
I thought a little and said: "No, I get only Nirahara Samyama!"

**Samyama is awakening of the powers in your biomemory and Nirahara Samyama is awakening the ability to live without food.  The practice so far included meditation, chanting inside the throat, un-clutching and the  best part - no food, only water or coconut water.

Music Video "Beautiful"

As a very supportive parent I had to learn a lot of new things.  This is normal for almost all parents of course.
I think I took it to the next level when my daughter started writing songs and I faced the reality that I had no connections in the music industry. I also have no knowledge of marketing the music, legalities of music industry. It is really a long list.  I feel I know so  little that I do not even know what I do not know.
Anyhow, What to do as Swamiji says.  After brainstorming  i started thinking who can help.
Turned out that I do not have connections to any famous people but I do have friends who are young musicians.  I got to know them through my son and I love their music,  personalities.  Also most of them are multi talented and love to take pictures, make videos, etc.  The journey started.
First clip was Beautiful,. The day started slow.  Alice was warming up to them.  After an hour and a half all three of them were running around fully involved in the process of creating.  By three I mean the director, the camera man and  Alice.  Ideas were popping up, smiles, jokes.  it was a fountain of creativity.
As an older and still more serious person than these guys I was holding the costumes and a make up kit.  Funny enough, the song is about loving and accepting yourself so make up kit does not really fly with this idea but ...I had it.  And since I saw in many movies that people use it and there are make up artists who take care of actors I attempted several times to offer them the make up kit I was holding.  I have to admit that I felt funny about it due to the meaning of the song.
Every time I would offer it they would all look at me very politely, wait until I finish the sentence and then say "thanks , we are good"  That small interruption and then the fountain will start again.
It was amazing, amazing , amazing.  Being with talented people is such a blessing!!!!
Here is the video  Hope you will enjoy!  The age of the creators:  13 is the youngest, 23 is the oldest! 

ART 1 - Useless planning

I was thinking for the longest time that  I wanted to describe my art experiences and I kept postponing writing about them because I thought I need a separate place and a good plan (I am a planner !) for these thoughts.  Today I realized I really do not need a separate place because a lot of them can in fact qualify as deep spiritual experiences and if I ever need  to compile all art post I would just copy and paste from here.  So there, no more dilemma.
It is amazing how procrastination and trying to make  this "best possible decision" takes away from the actual doing.  I could have started this at least a year ago but I was figuring out the right way. The Universe probably was laughing hard and saying "the right way?  Start already, enough. When was that last time when you actually figured out a perfect plan or started the "right away.  Yup.  No one remembers."
Funny.  The thought of doing something right prevents you from doing.  This thought can be both: really useful or really useless...

This is crazy!, she said.

Today I am starting Level 3 of Nirahara Samyama or No Hunger meditation with Nithyananda.  So far I was able to do 8 days with a break.  No hunger, a lot of awareness and a lot of lightness in the body. 
Such difficult spiritual practice was made so easy for all of us!  At this point there are about 300 people all over the world following it.
I was talking to a friend of mine and when she heard that I was planning to do level 3 she immediately responded:”This is crazy!”.   I did not feel that she was admiring my plan, rather that it is something scary and weird and not necessarily right.
I thought about it a little
It does sound crazy.  But the craziest part is that person who is a mother, an artist, a friend, a volunteer, a business owner can do such a thing without stopping any of her activities, staying blissful and happy. 
Our old ideas about the world and how things work are falling apart fast, aren’t they?

Saturday, July 21, 2012

Amma's Darshan

Amma, the hugging saint from Inida spent three days in New York.  I went to get her darshan for the first time.  I heard about her from a lot of my friends and everyone was describing meeting her as a special experience, comparing to meeting a Mother. 
I did my Guru Puja in the morning, asked Swamiji’s blessings to have a great experience and went to NYC.
The hall was full of people.  As always in NY the crowd is beautifully unique: a typical Indian family in a traditional dress was sitting right next to an executive in a white shirt, expensive suit and a great haircut.  I am mentioning the haircut because the next person was with a hair tough to describe but probably rarely this hair experienced soap and water, forget the haircut itself .  I saw bare feet saddhus that looked so similar to their Himalayan brothers.  Really all walks of life manifested…
Enjoying this colorful scenery I was patiently waiting for the program.  The line was long.  Finally I got my token that was necessary to get a hug from Amman and was put into another line to be seated.   The seating was to the side of the stage where she was going to be giving the darshan.  Right at the moment when it was my turn to be seated one of the volunteers came and asked me “Are you alone?”  “Yes” I said.  “Follow me then”.  She took me into the middle section right in front of the stage.   “Thank you Swamiji”, I thought.
The puja, talk and meditation were wonderful.   They even gave little containers with holy water to everyone. 
When the darshan started I walked around a little bit and saw that people were continuing to come and everyone was planning to stay overnight.  I sat close to the stage to enjoy the view of Amma’s powerful hugs.
After sometime a girl showed up with a sign.  The sign asked to do Seva (volunteering). She stood in front of us with a sign and no one responded.  I did not respond either.  She moved to the side and the sign was still up and no one responded.  I stood up and said that I could help but most likely I would have to leave soon since I did not want to stay overnight.  She asked what was my token and looking at my number it seemed that my turn would be up sometime at 5 am in the morning.  I told her that I would help but would not wait for the darshan and we went to the area where the help was needed. 
A new volunteer came,  looked at me and said “Give me your ticket.  I have a G1 ticket and you will go for the darshan soon, just help now whatever you can. 
The darshan line said F3 so G1 was next!!!!
The darshan was wonderful.  She spoke some simple Russian words when she was hugging me “my dear, my dear, my dear”.
I of course thanked my Swamiji and the Universe.  I thought my lesson was don’t just sit and hope for something, do something so it is easier for the Universe to help you.   What do you think my lesson was?

Tuesday, July 17, 2012


Today Swamiji confirmed my long time guess that He is only a mirror of what or who we are.
This idea came to me when I noticed that when a person with a very strong ego looks at Nithyananda they always say: "Look, He is just full of himself."   When a humble person looks at him they say : "Look, He is so great but so simple."  When a person who really loves the idea of God as Krishna looks at him he or she says: "He is Krishna.  No doubt.  Look at him laughing!"  When a person who loves Shiva looks at him, they say: "He is Shiva himself, he will destroy your ego, don't ever doubt that!"
I have met a Christian minister who was convinced that Nithyananda was Jesus who came back as he promised to create a new world.
I am  not describing something in general, or some phenomena that I witness from a distance. All these impressions and conversations happened with closest to me people,: friends, relatives, coworkers!
Just like he said today:  "I am just a mirror.  I hold it in front of me for You to see You.  Once you realize that you are seeing your ultimate idea of yourself, YOU WILL WAKE UP."
Is this alarm for me?

Sunday, July 15, 2012

Supportive Signs

My friend and I started doing a special yoga practice to release samskaras with food.  We first had to fast 48 hours (level 1)  then a break and then 7 days then a break and 11 days then a break and 21 days but the last one I guess should be with Swamiji himself.   We only finished 48 hours as of now and we will see if we last.  That would be so awesome if we actually finished the whole thing.
Anyway, I was thrilled to have a two way connection with Swamiji (it is required for this) and also I am thrilled to do a practice like that with someone else.  Her whole family is supportive of what she is doing so it is a wonderful atmosphere in her house: warm and sweet.
Well, today another wonderful surprise greeted me.  When I walked into the room I saw my own daughter on the screen!  She was giving the interview about the program she attended in India last year.  I have never seen it.  I knew she was interviewed but I have never seen it.
It was amazing.  She was so sweet and smart and so well articulated.  Her face was relaxed like there is no worry in the world or even if there is a worry she knows what to do about it.  Sweet. Sweet. Sweet.
The name of the program is eN-Genious.  It is for kids up to 14 years old. As she told me she plans to take Inner Awakening Program for adults.  She is confident she would get a permission.  If she does I would take it too with her.   Feeling blessed.