Thursday, April 25, 2013


During my last trip to Moscow Russia, I noticed that people were calling other people  energy vampires meaning that some people are tiring to be around or one may feel drained after a conversation as these people  “eat” their energy.  I remembered that I used to have experiences like that too!!!   So one day, after spending time with one of my dear friends, she said to me: “I enjoy your energy so much.  it is light and refreshing and happy”.  Then she stopped and said: “But please do not worry, I am not an energy vampire, I won’t pull it from you.”  I laughed and said: “Please do!  Take as much as you need.  I do not have my energy, I am connected to my Guru and His energy is limitless and goes to everyone who needs it.  I am just enjoying the process.”  
I now again see that another idea left my system.  I always wanted to be a healer.  Now I know that I am because I realize over and over that I am not the one healing, not the one giving.  I am only an instrument.  Thank you God for that :)

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Responisibility/ Smart or ....

This story is from a marketing seminar that I attended last fall.  
A beautiful girl was sitting on the stage getting advice on how to present her company.  The speaker asked her: “What do you do?” She said “We are a group of professional organizers who will midwife your life into a new beginning”.  The crowd went silent.  What?  Turned out she had a company that organizers or de-clutters houses to be exact.  DId you get it from the description?  Well, she was a Yale and Harvard graduate.  I think a lot of educated people suffer from this “let me complicate stuff so it sounds more important.”  
I remember I read once a book by a professor of the Russian Language.  I will skip the name.  I remember only that after reading several pages I thought to myself:”He enjoys his own mind more than he cares about the readers.”  I never finished his book.  Whatever we do we have to enrich others , not enrich our own ego.  My Guru speaks about it every day now for 4 months.  

Remembering Scott Mason

Scott passed April 1, 2013.  It has been almost a month and I only now can write about it.  
I was thinking what do I want to remember if I read my own journal ten years from now.   I realized that I want to remember all that incredible love and support that I experienced from him.  It is really selfish of me but my life was so much better with him in it.  Life of my daughter was so much better with him in it.  I feel so grateful even for the tears that are pouring now because I had a privilege to meet him and an honor to call him a friend.  He was a special soul.  It was as if his job was to make sure there are results in the projects that he is involved in and that people who he thought needed to be appreciated were in fact feeling appreciated.  
His last words to me were: “I get you Lena.  I understand you.  I see you.  Not many people can understand but I can, I see it so clearly.  I see the spirit.  I love you.  I love you. I love you.”  I am so selfish in these memories but I do not want to forget and I do want to see his incredibly blue eyes again...
I noticed that he was trying to create self appreciation in me, self love.   He once looked at my series of Vedic Art paintings and said: “We have to have your show.  I like it.  I like these.”  I laughed and said: “Oh, common Scott, I do not need the show.”  He said: “Yes, you do.  We have to make one for you.  You will see.”    If I ever do an art show, I will dedicate it to him, to his memory.  My school did a fundraiser for Cornerstone Playhouse last year.  It is a community theater where he was an artistic director.  He put all of himself into that theater for us, for our children, for our community.  His life long partner Michael and Scott were rehearsing and building the sets and cleaning and organizing and teaching.  I was at awe when I was watching these two.  Their example, their dedication was an inspiration to me.  After that fundraiser he made me a star with my name and I thought to myself that he was the one who deserved a star, he was helping with this fundraiser as if it was his responsibility.  I am using this word again because I felt that if he said he would do the show, he would be there 200% of the time until the show is successful.   He would be there fully, never ever on the clock.
Once he called me and said: “You are a wonderful person, do you know that?  I know that you are having a tough time now.  I want you to know that I admire, love and respect you.  I am watching you going through these tough times with a smile and a kind heart and I want to say that I know it is not easy but I am admiring your grace.  Remember that you are special.”   Tears are pouring.  He took time and a moment to appreciate and support.  He noticed somebody else's life.  He was so incredibly smart.
And he was this way with so many.  I have a dear student of mine, a teenager who often gets in trouble because not everyone understands that he means well.  Scott said: “ I like Eric.  He might be disruptive but he always tries to make the final result better.”  It was such a keen observation.   He himself was always taking that final responsibility for making everything  better.
After the first show my daughter did with Cornerstone he said to me: “I do not know what she is going to be.  She looks like an actress with a future.  She has a spark.  Cultivate it.”  He then would check on the songs that Alice was learning and watch her in all different performances and give me a feed back.  He was the one who believed in her and gave Alice her fist big lead part in “BIg Bad Musical”.  He transformed a shy teenager into a NY sharp attorney on stage.  We could not believe how natural on stage she was.  The whole show turned out to be amazing.  Full house, applause, applause and flowers, flowers, flowers.  
He met my son just a couple of times.  One time they laughed at the kitchen table at my house as if they knew each other forever.  During one of the last times I saw him, he said: “Lena, I really wish I knew him better.  He is a special soul.  Say “hi” to him. ”  He was about a week away from passing away and was still making others realize that they are special, they are here for a reason.
I sent a note about him to my Nithyananda  and asked his blessings for Scott.  I know he passed away in his sleep and he was not gasping for air and he was peaceful.  I know he is in a better place now but I still want to see him.  I know that all my grief is only for us here.  We lost such an amazing soul.   
I pray to never forget what he taught me, I pray to always appreciate people and help them to appreciate themselves, I pray we can continue enriching others as he was enriching us.  I will always remember and love you Scott.