Thursday, August 23, 2012

Is Existence your enemy?

From Mahavatar Paramahamsa Nithyananda.

Existence is taking care of you every moment. Do you think you can be alive even for one moment if Existence does not want you to be alive? The very fact that you are alive proves that Existence wants you here, now, in this form, in this place. this is the ultimate cause for celebration! What more do you want?

Existence has provided, is providing and will provide for each and every one of your needs. Your suffering and struggle is only because you don't trust that you are being provided all that you need, because you consider yourself separate from Existence, who you think is your enemy.


I heard many times that music is a higher form among all arts.
I thought a lot about it.  I was mostly interested where this kind of thinking might have started.
I had a realization recently.  Not sure if it is right though.
...We can not really hear the majority of the sounds the universe is creating.  Maybe the frequency of the sound is not detectable by a human ear or our senses are muted.  Music has no reference point.  Music that we love is created by people.   God's music is not heard by most of people.   Our senses do not allow us to hear Angels singing 
However, world around us is a huge God's canvas.  We can enjoy God's Art in bodies, faces, landscapes, still lives, stories etc.  The most successful pieces of art are the copies of the Divine canvas/movie theater so since we are actually seeing the Divine canvas all the time but we do not hear Divine music all the time,  people started thinking that music is a higher form of art.
I feel that when we create from the Source then all art becomes part of the Divine Art.  So to have all forms of art at their picks we need to first connect to the Divine Creative energy and then express it freely by transmitting it, making ourselves a painting tool for the Divine.
Nithyananda said: "When you create art, God blesses you because you add beauty to his creation.”   
I feel Swamiji is talking about all forms of ART, right?

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Participation/ or ART weekend

Couple of weeks ago I went to visit my girlfriend and we decided to have an ART weekend.  We have been friends for a long  time, we both love art, it is easy for us to spend time together.  I am also blessed with her mom's friendship so this whole thing was very promising.
We planned a visit to a museum, a visit to a sculpture garden (it is called Grounds for sculpture), a painting session and a movie of course.  We ended up watching Woody Allen's "To Rome with Love".  Who would ever argue that Woody Allen isn't ART itself!
It was all awesome but the best part happened in Grounds For Sculptures park.
This park reminded me of a park in Bangalore, India.  I remember seeing a group of women talking in the park and only when I came close enough I realized that they were sculptures.  And same here, some of the sculptures are so real that until you get closer to them you do not realize that you are looking at the sculptures
Wonderful surprise was waiting for us there.  The artists of the Grounds For Sculptures made Impressionistic paintings into sculptural groups so you walk into the painting itself instead of only looking at it.
See, I love museums now.  I can spend a lot of time in them but when I was a child it could get boring for me.  I could not relate sometimes and when I started travelling with my daughter I realized that it is more fun for her and me to draw or paint in the museum, to try to make a copy of our favorite painting as part of our visit.  We spent about 2 hours in one room once in London and it was the most satisfying experience.  It happened because we were sitting and drawing what we were looking at.  Such an amazing connection with the piece.
Anyway, here our fun started with me pretending to be a part of one of the sculptural groups.  And we continued and continued..  All three of us came up with ideas how to become a part of  this sculpture garden.
Time was flying and I also noticed  that instead of my regular relaxed and sweet mood that I usually experience in museums I was excited and full of energy.  My body felt really alive.
Then a click happened. I listened to Paramahamsa Nithyananda talking about it many times but I never experienced it this way.
Participation is the key.  Not just witnessing is required of us but participating.
Participation creates the ownership of the moment.
You become a creator.  You become ART.
This is the album from that weekend

Sunday, August 19, 2012

Theater Weekend or Perfect Setting

Yesterday my daughter, her friend and I went to visit our friend's son in his acting camp.
The area is beautiful.  Catskill Mountains, New York.  I have a lot of sweet memories there.  Many years ago our friends lived there.  We went to visit them almost every weekend.  It was the time full of hopes for our brighter and of course better future.  
Now looking from that future back into that time I can still feel how excited I was going there.  Anyway, the acting camp we were going to was something like a performance boot camp with multiple theaters and a lot of plays that were going on at the same time. I loved the choices for the plays. Our friend's son was in The Conference of the Birds.  (Persianمنطق الطیر‎, Mantiqu 't-Tayr, 1177)  which is a book of poems in Persian by Farid ud-Din Attar of approximately 4500 lines.  In the poem, the birds of the world gather to decide who is to be their king, as they have none. The hoopoe, the wisest of them all, suggests that they should find the legendary Simorgh, a mythical Persian bird roughly equivalent to the western phoenix. The hoopoe leads the birds, each of whom represent a human fault which prevents man from attaining enlightenment. When the group of thirty birds finally reach the dwelling place of the Simorgh, all they find is a lake in which they see their own reflection.  (from Wikipedia)
I was thrilled that my daughter and her friends were able to see plays like that done  by such young actors at  such awesome level.
I have to admit I was really ready to enjoy and I was so happy I was not disappointed.  During a break in the performances we decided to explore the area a bit..
My friend had a recommendation for a place and we drove there.
It was a house/restaurant on the river with an outside grill and a promise of  live music 
The owners were a Russian artist and his American wife with eyes that had sparkles in them.
The building had a sign that there is a gallery on the second floor and we went there.  The show had some old and very Soviet style objects combined together as pieces of art.  All of them had mirrors as part of these objects. When you look at them, you are in fact looking at yourself ....inside the Soviet Era.  
I can not say that we had any nostalgia but it was so surreal that I felt that the whole  thing should have been video taped as a movie.  The moment I had that thought a young boy of about 8 years old who was mixing Russian and English words and sentences showed up.  He was enthusiastically trying to film people promising them he would put his video on YouTube.   I thought that videos need a lot of editing and planning.  Will this one involve that too?
We ate right next to the river, talked.  It was relaxing and sweet and then as if again it was not sweet and relaxing enough two older Italian men started to sing.  They were professional musicians who retired and had a restaurant somewhere close.  They came to celebrate this restaurant's 4th year anniversary.  
These Italian singers with their Italian music and their gorgeous Italian voices were taking over this place in the middle of the woods with blue skies and a gentle river.  Their music and the art work from former Soviet Union had NOTHING in common and none the less  everything and everyone was in perfect harmony.  
It was easy for us to enjoy all this because it is a theater weekend after all and everything is possible in a theater.  It was a perfect setting for a perfect theater weekend and I thought that after all Life a theater and we are all actors, right?    Who said that?  I can not remember now...
Amazing harmony of non-combinable things struck me again and again when I was looking at the scene  and I thought to myself: Life does not need editing, it is perfect the way it is.

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Post Nirahara Samyama Experience

This post is about the changes I noticed so far after this experience.
I can say I am still overwhelmed that it was possible.  I remember how difficult any food limitations or rules were for me.  The same moment something was declared not good and had to be taken out of the diet, I would be craving it all the time.  Quite torturous    This probably applies to any kind of rules.  Just kidding.
Anyway, here I was.  The puja was done and I was allowed to eat now.
I was concerned if my stomach would take food in a normal way or it will need some adjustments.  I remember that Paaramahamsa Nithyananda said that we needed to drink something acidic so I had grapefruit juice and it felt really really good.
I was breaking the fast at my girlfriend's house and she prepared a real treat with organic products and nice recipes.  I felt great.  Actually I felt that I never really stopped eating at all.
So these are the things that I noticed.
1. A much more sensible palette that allows you to enjoy every meal more.
2. I eat much much slower and ...that makes it more enjoyable too.
3. I loved nuts and chips (healthy, unhealthy) and felt that would be the first thing I would eat but have not touched it.  So maybe that was the food pattern that was removed during practice.  I think I will cook with nuts from time to time of course.
4. I feel my sense of smell became stronger.
5. I also noticed that the cooking became enjoyable again for me.  I had a little issue in the recent years when it seemed like I lost the joy of it.
6. I discovered new tastes, like goat mil, that I enjoy.
7. I am calmer in genereal
8. I lost weight.
9. When and if I am hungry I do the technique from Nirahara Samyama and the hunger still goes away.

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Should a mother work?

In my recent conversation with mom, she said something like: "Well, you, Lena should have been focusing on having a regular job.  I always worked and see you are fine."
I kept thinking about it because it is an endless debate about what a woman's role is, does she have to work, does she have to stay home and focus on the kids. Is every single woman able to give her kids what  they need or in some cases it is better that a mother works?  What would I have become if my mom had been focused on me?
I do not feel that any solution except "whatever works for your family" has been ever found.
I personally experienced both:  I had to start working when my son was 2 y.o. and I created a job for myself  that allows me to be home for my 13 year old daughter almost all the time.  I love the second way so much more.  I feel happy and grateful that I am around for her.
I also keep wondering what if I had a higher consciousness guiding me through childhood and teenage years.  Let's take it to another level and imagine that this being is your own mother.  Imagine a child has a question and the answer comes not from old, often harmful for a young mind patterns but from a higher plane.  I probably would have contributed to the society much more.
What if our daughters develop this higher consciousness?  Wouldn't it be the best contribution to the society that a mother can make?  Changing the society one human being at a time...
A little follow up on the post came yesterday from Paramahamsa Nithyananda.  He called modern schools "jails" where kids learn to experience fear and loose confidence so that later on they can be easily ruled by the society.   These are strong words but how true they are in so many cases!   He also said that if you have a career and it is more important for you than your kids, you should just enjoy your career.  If you do want to be a parent  then being a parent should be a priority.  There should be no excuse that you have no money to be with your children.  Be aware of your plans before you start a family.  Raising a human being is your primary responsibility.

Sudden Bliss

My daughter came back from her trip with dad yesterday.
The house right away was filled with her intense energy.  We looked at the photos, she told me all sorts of details: and hiking, and riding a horse and catching crabs.
She also got a chance to see a daughter of our friends.  She described it as an inspirational experience and meeting with an inspirational person.  I asked her how so and she said that she remembered that girl being kind of goth, dark, withdrawn.  My daughter said that she took herself out of it.  Now she is an open, smart, healthy, extremely bright young lady.  She is older than my daughter by 2 years.  Alice said that she had never seen that happened in her school.  Once kids withdrew themselves, they do not go back.
I was so happy for my daughter!  She met a new and wonderful friend and she can see and understand things way beyond what I could understand at 13 (maybe even later.)
Anyway, we laughed and giggled and she looked me in the eyes and said :"Mommy, I love you."
I went to bed and thought that it would be nice to experience a dream as beautiful as this reality.  I closed my eyes and a rush of intense bliss energy went through my body and I saw my daughter's eyes and I felt every bit of the moment I was in:  home with two children sleeping somewhere close to me, with my dog lying next to Alice's door hoping she would open it and he would sneak in...
I was wide awake.  I enjoyed it for several minutes, said thank you and fell asleep...   


Friendship: maybe different colors but similar inner art.

Saturday, August 4, 2012

Inspiration for today

By Virgil
With love my song begins
Of love all things are
Father makes the earth fruitful
He cares for my verses

I hope I remembered this correctly.  
Imagine if every artist feels just that.


I now fully realize what my step father and uncle were talking about when saying  that you have to travel if you an artist.  It is an expansion from the work in the studio.
Of course you continue working on your skills when you paint in plain air but this is not my point.
I noticed that when I come to a different place I have absolutely different ideas on what to pain, what media to use.  I think the inspiration comes from the place itself.  That new place asks you  to express itself through you.
So bottom line -
My lesson is: Travel, and travel a lot.  Do not get settled in one place and work from there.  Pictures, however beautiful , are still already a second hand look at the creation.  Get the first hand.  Express YOUR experience.

Friday, August 3, 2012

Last Day of Nirahara Samyana started...

Last day has started.  Tomorrow at 9:30 pm I will break the fast.
Total of 20 days of No Hunger Meditation.  I only drank coconut water and water, no food,
Discoveries for me:
- We really do not need food as much as we think we do.  It is all just programmed in us. 
- Food equals love.  Really true.  When I was fasting and only taking water I was still cooking for my son with such pleasure and creativity that I felt that truth inside my body.  It was a  very enjoyable experience.
- I became more sensible to sugars.  I could not drink coconut water for the last 5 days of the fast.  Felt too sweet.  I diluted it but now just stick to water.
- Body feels really really light.  If you can imagine that you lightheaded but that feeling is in your whole body.  I feel I walk lighter, I feel lighter.  I am able to focus really easily though.
- Food is entertainment and as with any form of entertainment, it needs to be enjoyed with a lot of awareness.
- When and if while cooking I was thinking about food I came up with a lot recipes to try, even snacks.   I already made some but have to wait to try!
- Most friends were concerned that it was something harmful.  I have not experienced any side effects at all so from my experience it was not.
I am totally looking for breaking the fast but not because I experience hunger but because I want to share a meal with a friend or family as a sign of love and just that ...sharing ...
I am very grateful for those who supported me, especially my new friend Nitya.  I would not have started this without her.  I am very grateful for my daughter who did it partially but when I saw her not eating for 8 days it made me think that I probably could do it too.
It was great that we were told many times that we could drop the practice any time, no need to struggle.  I feel that idea that I could stop any time made it such a pleasant commitment. 
I am very thankful to Swamiji Nithyananda for making this possible for all of us who participated.  He says that his job as an incarnation is to make difficult practices easy.  Wonderful job he is doing!

Thursday, August 2, 2012

When you wake up....

Big click for me today came from Nithyananda's talk.  I spent a day at a spa with my girlfriend and  we talked a lot about different sufferings that we experience.  We comforted each other as  best as we could (she is good  in comforting!).
And then at night Swamiji said that No suffering is worth a second of your time.  At the end, when you die and wake up, you will look at all these sufferings the same way you look now at the nightmares you have from time to time.  You will think that it is all big BS and was not worth any of your time.
Seems better not to wait until we die to decide not to suffer...