Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Greedy for Miracles

This is somewhat a continuation of "Rose for my birthday" story.
I brought the rose branch into my house;  a rose opened up and I used it for my guru pooja.  Well, my rose miracle did not stop there.
On the other branch there was an absolutely green bud.  Once the first rose opened up completely, this green bud started opening up. Another red rose started blooming.
It was too much!  I thought "No way", just "No way"  Well, it did open.  I took pictures and again I used this rose for my guru pooja.
Guess what?  Now I started feeling that I wanted to continue this miracle to happen.  There were three more green buds. One of them started opening up a little.  Now please remember that these rose branch came from the tree outside of my house and all I did I put it in the water inside my house.  It was the third week of the branch being inside my house.
Once I saw the third red rose started opening I kept on checking on the flower.  I checked and checked again and my camera was so ready for the another rose to show up.  Exciting...
Well, it did not.  It just stopped opening up and the rest of the buds did not show any potential blooming all of a sudden.
I thought a little about it and the only difference was that when the first roses were opening I was not expecting them.
Neither I was ready for the very first one to bloom on my birthday, nor I expected to get the second one inside my house.  But once I got the first two I was expecting it to continue and the miracle stopped...
I became greedy for miracles.  "Not enough" attitude showed up.  The lesson for me was "watch how attachments form, watch how greed shows up,"
Dear God, let me be grateful for everything and expect nothing,  
...such a blissful way of learning though...Thank you Swamiji.

"Better Than Sex"

I heard this expression many times.  Friends of mine use it when they are describing something that was absolutely outstanding in the feeling of pleasure.  I heard it about tennis, food, etc.
I now have another reference point - awakening of the Kundalini energy - OMG...

House as a Temple

What is the difference in us when we go to a place of worship: a temple, a church, or  a monastery?
Do we feel differently?  Do we behave differently?
Have you noticed this special "holy" feeling you experience when you are in a house of God?
Well, I  figured out that there is a technique that is widely used by followers of  the Vedic tradition and Russian Orthodox Church.  I am sure these things exist  in  other traditions as well .
Every house has a sacred place of worship of God or Guru.   Chanting and worship happens there every day.   What does it make your house then?  Well, it transforms your house into a ... temple.  If you are in a temple will you still  have these silly arguments with your family members?
There should also be no two personalities: a "church" personality and "I am home and I am tired of all of you or some of you" personality.
Awesome technique...

Friday, November 18, 2011

Shiva Linga in NJ!

A great family lives in NJ close to George Washington Bridge.   
Nithyananda gave Shiva Linga as a present to the wife of this family and it arrived from Bidadi.
They created a special sacred place for it in their house and last Saturday I went for a visit.  I can only tell that it is addicting!  I sat a little bit next to it and it was difficult to start moving.
This Shiva Linga radiates peace itself.
What to do now?  Only visit often...

Monday, November 7, 2011

3 points from the relationship workshop by Nithyananda that I loved

1. We treat people around us based on the patterns that were created early in life.   All relationships in our life is unfulfilled karma.   Any unfulfilled karma will project to other relationships.   You can not move on until you restore your relationships with your mother and father.
2. “You do not need support”, He said.  “If you are giving, it is a gift.  If you are receiving, it is a donation.” 
3. Loving, caring couples have less Alzheimer cases.  The wounds heal  twice as long in the couples that are in a hostile relationships.  

He loves me, he loves me not, he loves me, he....or A note about relationships

I spent last weekend at the Paramahamsa Nithyananda workshop on relationship.
OMG.  I needed this workshop  big time. My marriage life puzzles me often.
I have been married twice.  My first marriage was not that successful but it was definitely a very friendly and emotionally easy relationship.   Back then in Russia the only real way for a girl to become independent from parents was to get married so you can move out.  I got married at 19 and moved out.   I loved my husband though since seventh grade.  I also was brought up in a way  that getting  married was the only way to go.  Anyway, divorce happened after ten years and … I remarried.  I love my husband.  We first spoke on the phone and there was something in the timbre  of his voice that I called my girlfriend right away and told her that a new adult student was starting with me but there was something about the sound of his voice that I felt he was very special.  Well, he turned out to be really good looking, very smart and kind.  Soon I was happily married for the second time thinking that now I figured it out. ..Right…We have been married for almost 18 years by now.   Not a smooth ride :  we changed countries, separated, got back together.    It has been difficult and confusing especially after separation.  It is funny at times too. 
My husband nowadays never says that I look good.  I often wonder if he is still attracted to me.  Sometimes I think to myself that maybe he stays with unattractive woman because he thinks it is the right thing to do.  Who knows..  He says that he forgot how to compliment.   Well, when I meet people in our small town who know both of us, they say: ”Oh, how lucky you are to be married to him.  He always has something nice to say or some sweet compliment and he notices everything!”    I know that they are describing the guy I married long time ago.  He does not live in my house at this time.    He lives in the stores, in the streets, at work, with friends when we go out.
When I went to this workshop all I knew was that I NEED HELP.    I have a dream about a partnership that is filled with care, friendliness, friendship, compassion and physical enjoyment, I mean “love”.    The big question is:
Is it really possible to change the relationship just on one side?  Is it possible for a successful marriage to be a one way street?  How about if an enlightenment master is helping?
We change.  The person whom we married many years ago changed too.  We have different perspectives; we tell different sides of stories and express different points of view.  
Can people be in a fulfilling relationship if these differences are there?  What about eating different foods?  How about liking different movies?  Books?  Friends? 
What is that people are sharing that is mandatory for success and what is irrelevant?
My husband always tells me that since I am a spiritual person, I am expected to be better and grow as a person all the time.  So I try.   I also noticed that once a person starts on a spiritual path, everyone has the right to say “well, look at yourself, you should not be upset, you say you meditate”.
 I feel I became softer and more understanding but the demands of me keep changing which of course pushes my growth and keeps breaking my ego but it is hard to be in that “bootcamp” all the time. 
Another story: last week my two wonderful family members were explaining to me that the way I look at them when I am upset is upsetting them.  Yes, you read it right.  I express the fact that I am upset though my …eyes.  And so they told me that I have “to change it and to watch it” because I can “kill with my eyes” and better not to look at them when I am upset and look somewhere to the side.  …..Really?  I will try.
So it is clearly expected of a spiritual person to be more tolerant and at the same time it gives that extra point in any discussion to mention that this poor spiritual soul is not good enough … still. 
Maybe we do need to “dance with those who want to dance with us or we need to learn the same dance so we move to the same tune?”  I want to say that same spiritual values make any conversation easy. 
At the workshop we were doing the processes of changing our mental patterns that were formed during childhood with moms' and dads' help.  Swamiji was working on our biomemory.  At the end of the process the girl who was my partner for the exercise said : ”I choose to accept my husband the way he is.  He is that way because he is that way.”    This was so awesome and I wrote the same thing in my notebook.  She then thought for a second and said: “No, actually I choose to accept all people the way they are”  ………………………..
Swamiji was loving and compassionate and patient in answering the questions and listening to the same story over and over and then he gave us his blessings.  I know that my patterns had left or are leaving and I am so happy to say  “good buy” to them...