SPIRITUALITY, ART, NITHYANANDA

"We are not equal, we are all unique.  Equality happens by realizing everyone's uniqueness." Pramahamsa Nithyananda

I noticed today that my mom is making some not nice comments about different topics.  I can not say that she is an example of an uplifting being all the time but still it was a lot and these comments can be looked at as rather sad ones.  I got curious why she was doing that so I said: "Mom, it seems  that you remember something that might not inspire a smile in many situations and I wanted to remind you that it is not really that good for your health."  She said: "No, it is not about me, I am checking you out.  I am studying you."

The program with the name inner awakening is just like the name - awesome.  It is the  awakening  of YOU.  It is so interesting how we manage to live for so many years and have no idea what our True Self is.  Interesting that learning about our true self is not even a priority.   We are settled, we accepted, we are fine, no change or growth needed and a little bit of fear is there too.  Who knows what will happen if we learn about this true self?  Will we stop loving our loved ones?  Will we stop caring about them?  Or maybe we will stop caring about going to work?  Unknown unknown. This program (some of the readers of this blog asked me to explain) is exactly about the discovery and pampering that true self.  It is about liberation from a lot of fears.  It is about leaving gilt behind, it is about loving and caring, it is about Life.    You will not have a lot of time or interest to think about your family or household or work.  You will be very busy with yourself but at the end of th

My birthday was yesterday and I had my mom and my son around.  My daughter and my husband were  travelling and despite the fact that they were so many miles away  they were the ones who woke me up to say "Happy Birthday".   My very artistic daughter draw "Happy Birthday Mom" in Chinese characters. I went to have breakfast with my girlfriend and we talked about kids (as all mothers do no matter what they celebrate).  My son said that he was going to spend the day of my birthday trying to understand me and my belief system.  He is 24.  I was very excited. We went to yoga  together. The major difference between me and my son: I love miracles and do not really care for explanations.  He loves explanations and do not care about miracles.  We talked and talked and  talked on the way to yoga.  He could not understand because either I was using the wrong terminology or I was not scientific enough or some historic facts  were missing.  Whatever...  I was glad we came to y

Another girlfriend of mine who works in Manhattan and travels there everyday from New Jersey told me these two stories.  Loved them. **The first one was about her son.  He was 6 at the time and on that day she was not in her best mood.  He was watching her and listening to her and then he said:"Mom, did you hear the song "All we need is love?"  She stopped doing whatever she was doing at the moment and looked at him,  "You need to listen to this song more often, I think", he said.... **The next one happened not long time ago.  She was rushing to work, she  had a great bottle of wine that she got for a friend (special one that the other person enjoys,  "A thought through" gift).  Right before the huge and important building in Manhattan, surrounded by nicely dressed people going to work, in the middle of all that, the handle on her bag broke.  The bag landed on the ground and of course the bottle of wine was in pieces... She grabbed that thing th

We had an event last Saturday (I described one part of it in a previous post).  About 50 people got together to meditate, do some Kundalini awakening process and then we went live with Bidadi, Inida and Paramahamsa Nithynanada was on Skype with participants, personally asking questions or giving blessings. My mom is visiting from Moscow now and I was very happy that she could participate in something like that.  She did meet him in New York last year but as we all know when we deal with something really nice it is never ever enough.   Anyway I put her at the end of the line because she does not speak English and I needed to disconnect the headphones to be able to translate for her.  She went in front of him and said that she loved him and would appreciate some help with health.  He looked at her, paused and then said "Tyebya Lublu".  I almost fell next to the computer.  It is amazing that I know that there is no acceptable explanation for a lot of things that happen around h

Paramahamsa Nithyananda always says that people are enlightened already and they just need to realize their own enlightenment. I feel it more and more now.  I look around and people whom I have known for years became so much brighter and interesting and amazing since I came back.  I have always loved my friends and cherished them.  It is very much family tradition but now I really feel that they (my friends) are shining more than ever.  No, the reality is they are shining the same way but my ability to see light in them changed.   Stories:  One of my girlfriends  was very happy that her son was about to get married.  They loved the girl, they loved the fact that he was serious about it, they loved the family of the girl (and you have to admitt that it is important).  October was the time for the big event.  I learned that the wedding was cancelled.  When speaking to her I asked how she feels about it and if she wants them to get married and she said: "It is not really important w

Saturday morning I spend at e-Kalpataru here in Sparta.   e-Kalpataru is a meditation program that helps to identify your purpose of life or major idea for this particular moment in your life.  It is a series of  talks by Paramahamsa Nithyananda with the finale when the group goes live with Bidadi and participants talk to Swamiji through Skype.  They either ask questions or ask help with some of the things that became clearer through the session.   I was one of the organizers there and at the end I was standing next to the computer helping people with headphones and guiding them   Some questions or requests are what some people would consider private.  I had an interesting experience.    I was so close to everyone that of course I could hear everything and not only that but I was typing the requests ahead of time as well.  I have a very good memory but I have NO recollections  about any requests (except my daughter's who was asking me questions while talking to Swamiji).    Same t

Well, sharing definitely intensifies the experience.   If you suffer and you share, you lessen the pain, if you are happy and you share you intensify your bliss. I asked myself yesterday if anyone was interested in what I was doing and immediately two people started the conversation about doing meditation and life solution sessions for kids. I also noticed that in most cases adults  get kids involved into something they themselves have interest in but do not do for whole bunch of different reasons.  I guess that was my answer. I am going to start eN- Satsang (satsang means gathering and en will stand for enlighten )  right here in Sparta for children and young adults and I am sure adults will be happy to join us too.  Having an enlighten child does stimulate our own growth.  See my notes on "Kids". I also will  try to keep with this blog and put notes here because I know for sure miracles are going to happen so we need to record them, right? 

Burning question I had two fun conversations today. One happened while I was waiting for my daughter who was at her violin lesson. "Are you enlighten?", a friend asked. 'Yes", I said without hesitation. Another friend asked at night:"Are you enlighten? " "It depends what you are asking", I said. I thought about it again. I am but I do not have 360 degree vision. Maybe I will develop it soon because it might be useful while driving. Just kidding. How to best describe the state i am in? The inner space is peaceful. I have been facing some stuff that used to make me cry and feel so miserable but nothing that resembles my previous feelings is inside. I am watching myself like I am an experiment. Will there be any negative reaction or just laughter? I also noticed that people get upset if you are not upset and they will try to create a reaction in you or they will say that they see the reaction when I do not feel it. No one (from not so sweet people o

I had a chance to experience the effects of the program right away. India is the country that is not in a rush.   Ever.   E veryone thinks that they are going to be born again so what is the point of rushing.   Whatever you are not accomplishing now you will do next time.   I am kidding of course but not a single program would start on time and not a single taxi would come on time.   After waiting for taxi and travelling in it with huge delays I finally at  the airport.   The flight is delayed and as a result I would not make the next flight that is going to take me home.   The   gentleman at the counter nicely smiles and suggests that I wait till tomorrow because it is just one day...   Nothing changed in my inner space. I would like to write this sentence again: Nothing changed in my inner space.   I feel a resemblance of what used to be called upset and tell him that I need to be home tomorrow and let’s look at other options.   After that I say to existence; I really would like to s

What is that energy level that I keep refereeing to when I talk to my friends or try to describe it in the blog.    How does it feel and is it really that amazing? I came for 48 days program.   The program was intense but not because you have to do so much stuff (except these several occations of 108 Sun Salutaions).   Most of the time you do not even do anything.   Swamiji comes, puts you in a “process” and leaves and you just sit there and quite often sleep.   What is going on with these processes only he understands, but the body goes through all sorts of different transformations.  It depends on what aspect of the energy field of your body is   being tuned up to the higher frequency.  You might experience incredible   tiredness, sleepiness, or different diseases will manifest.   You also go and take care of the body constantly: you take a healing bath, you take an ash bath, you take some neem juice, you eat, you sleep, you meditate under the banyan tree.  Honestly you just take

Last year I came to the ashram to become a healer.  I took the program, initiation, got a healing stick.  I can not tell that I did a lot of healings though because I still had doubts but of course I used it in all  emergency situations and it worked every time (?!) Anyway, I had that strong feeling that I am going to heal only if someone asks (another passive ego form I guess). So I came here with the same idea.   Several people asked for healing and I did it.  I felt the energy much better than before but a couple of days ago something special happened. A girl asked me for healing.  I started the usual way and then the boundary between her body and mine disappeared, it was just one energy getting connected to a higher energy.  Amazing experience.  I had hard time stopping the experience.  She said that she was in deep meditation during  the healing and thought that the mediation was a result of healing and  I thought that such success of healing was a result of the mediation mood.

I saw a real cobra and it was not in a zoo.  It was actually outside of our mediation room.   Everyone says that Swamiji talked to the snakes and it was agreed that they are not showing up on the territory.  I actually have not seen any snakes during my three visits here. I guess this one got confused.    i am very glad that the rest of them are following the agreement. This place used to be just woods with all sorts of beings living here: from snakes to the mystical tree connected  to Shambala itself. I saw a lot monkeys in the nearby village and it was not a surprise anymore.  I am also ok with frogs, lizards, ants and mosquitoes.  We do have snakes in my own backyard in New Jersey but, thank God, they are not cobras. We also watched a video about two weeks ago about mental setup and they showed some villages and people in these villages are so used to cobras that no one dies from their bites.  How about that?  Hard to believe but true. This mental set up seems to be a powerful t

We had a session on different forms of Ego.  We were talking about being serious and if it is truly required for great functioning in the society.  My concern was that I feel that I am serious and if you look at all these laughing Buddhas and read spiritual texts or see enlighten beings - all of them are anything but serious.  They laugh all the time and  their beings are so light.   Anyway, I had the experience of laughing mediations before but still when we did them here I did not experience serious breakthrough in my mental set up.  So first we did the traditional laughing meditation and it was fun.  A girl from France who was leading this meditation had a contagious laughter.   For the second meditation we lied on  each other stomachs (of course men were separate from women because it is a monastery) and started laughing.  I put my head on a tummy of a girl with a great great laugh.  And when we started laughing I could not stop not only during the mediation but through the whole d

Today is a special day.  I am going  to be painting under the Banyan tree.  My two friends that are teaching the art and theatre program for En-Genius in December are coming with me.  I will give a lesson first and then we will just be sitting and painting... Morning was training again and then meditation on the root energy center.   Whole body is filled with air again.  Very nice feeling. And yesterday we did clay with kids for about an hour.  We took some clay right from the ground (isn't it lovely when you do not need to go and get art supplies), mixed it with water and did our first sculptures. Since it was the first time I was showing sculpting we chose an easy object - Shiva Linga (I have a picture on my face book page).    It is a symbol of Shiva and it represents both female and male energies.  Easy to sculpt so we had 100% success!

Another interesting phenomena during the trips to India is that all small knowledge that I happened to have  before about India came to my present life in some form. The first time which was three years ago I found a museum of Nicholas and Svetoslav Roerich in Bangalore and learned that they actually lived for some time not far from here. This year it went into the yoga information.  I remember my first book about yoga and Sri Aurobindo and Mother that I was reading some 20 years ago.  It all seemed so far and so difficult to relate but the ideas were so profound.   Anyway, one of the girls (she is from Brasil) took a trip to an ashram and she was sitting at lunch telling a beautiful story about some gold dome and special white meditation place with a city where people just leave by sharing what they can do.  I was listening  to her and noticed that the headache that I was having the whole morning is gone.  I wanted to know more about that place.   turns out it is the Sri Aurobindo a

Two girls were so happy and celebrating today that I could not resist and asked what was going on.  Turns out that one asked to become an ashramite but she did not sell her business (as far as I understood it was not a profitable business) and so Swamiji blessed her for that.  She got the news today that it is going to be sold and she will be able to cover all the debts with this money. Her friend asked about her son.  She is an older lady and her son got some mental problem and had to be taken to the hospital.  she gave Swamiji a picture and as always he said it would be ok.  So her husband called in the morning and said that the son was send home, the condition is over and doctors took him off all medications. These two were dancing.

We are going over the initial courses that hopefully I will be able to teach once I get back home.  The interesting thing today was that I remember how I felt when I did some of these meditations in 2007.  The difference is amazing.  For example, there is a meditation that opens up the energy center that is blocked by worry.  The first time it was such a big deal and now it just took about 10 min to get to feel the opening of the center. The one we are practicing now every night was the opening of the energy center that is blocked by fear.  It was a huge experience and now it is just a tool to fall asleep faster...