Ten days of Swamiji's support and blessings; ten days of energy darshans, ten days of yoga and kryas and working through what seemed to be out endless in-completions, Many patterns were exposed and broken in everyone. Many unforgettable moments happened.Inner Awakening took place in my Sparta home. What is Inner Awakening? Inner Awakening is exactly that, Inner Awakening. After it happens in you, your whole being feels lighter and at peace, your whole being is ready to LIVE.
First part of Inner Awakening that we were doing was on completion with our history, completion with images we carry about ourselves inside and outside. In other words, liberation.
Have you noticed how many times the same situations will appear in our lives, same diseases will show up again and again, same conflict situations will come up. Same, same, old same.
If we are aware and already at the level of realization that if we want outer change we better work on our inner space we look into different programs for help. Often we would feel better for a little while after the program but then patterns come back again.
This program is beyond looking inside. It is a program of liberating a human being from the patterns that do not allow the changes to stay in us. It liberates from patterns that keep us trapped, keep us suffering and suffocated.
I volunteered for this program in 2011 so I saw the incredible value of this program. I saw people walking out of cancer, depression, broken lives. I saw people looking 30 years younger.
My daughter kept saying that she wanted to experience it but for the last two years we were not able to go to India.
I have to say that I love India and miss it. I love the landscapes, the colors, the banyan tree in the ashram...
Anyway, in May I heard that the Completion part of the Inner Awakening will be available through on-line course. OMG was I excited. No words to describe. Finally, I will be able to do it for myself and my daughter. I started figuring it out. Well, I should say, at first I started celebrating.
And then of course, self doubt started happening. "No, it is impossible, no one will do this program with you. They will not allow to have it in the house, it should be only in the temple." Blah- Blah - Blah...
I posted a note for Swamiji on-line saying that my daughter and I want to do the program but we need his permission for her to participate because she is only 14 and we need his support to have it in our house (nothing less than that!) I was like a child asking for something. I want this and I want this and I want it NOW. But I guess because this request came from the state of a child talking to a parent and not the adult thinking what was possible based on what the adult had known so far ..... He blessed both! Alice got her permission to participate and the idea to have Inner Awakening in my house was not dismissed.
Then the adult mind set in fully. That adult in me said: "No way. You do not have any other people interested, you have no volunteers and this program is very intense. Volunteers are a must. We were doing things 18 hours a day. The program was also going according to India time so no sleep at night and only short naps in the afternoon. All the requirements for participants were the same: Yoga, Satvic diet, 2 way video conferencing and monitoring and being in contact with the ashram constantly so everything goes smoothly. The program is for 10 days so it is not a short commitment. The whole thing is not a joke."
A week before the program Ohio temple said that they were going to conduct the program so I figured that maybe Swamiji actually wants us to go there because it was too much to organize in a house. I made a post for him on FB saying that my daughter and I were ready to go where he thinks it is best for us. There were three options available: Philadelphia center, Ohio temple or our house. Next day both Ohio and Philadelhia said that they would not be able to host!!! I got concerned.
Doubts started again. Who are we to make this special things happen for us?!
Same night at the evening satsang Swamiji said that there were people who were just ready to give up. These people might have almost accomplished what they were trying to accomplish but they still start with doubts and loose the whole thing at the end. I felt he was talking about me.
I did not stop creating the event though even though I had my doubts. The help I got was indescribable. A girl from LA found another participant. One of my adult art students talked to me in a way that I felt I would not be in integrity if I do not offer him the program. I have to admit that I decided NOT to share much about this program with my friends. I have not experienced this program as a participant so my excuse for non-enriching others with it was "let me first experience and then I can talk." Oh, what the games mind plays to make sure you will loose at the end. One thing, I am not going to keep quite about it. What Swamji has created to people is beyond anything you can imagine. Anyway, Swamiji's inner space was supporting though. So two more people joined me and Alice last minute and on the first day of the program a volunteer flew in from North Caroline and we were all set to start our journey...