Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Addicted to pooja and meditation or charged by them?

Couple of weeks ago I had a difficult week in our family life.  Really difficult.  I also noticed that despite of the difficulties I can stay calm and peaceful if I do my daily practice: pooja and meditation.  I actually think  that pooja itself is enough for me to stay peaceful.  Taking a note of that I decided that is addiction and so I ...rebelled.  I STOPPED ALL PRACTICE.
This happened on Tuesday.  By Friday I was a little depressed and had plenty of anxiety.  Saturday afternoon I had a recital for my school and after that we were going for a rather emotional event (cancer awareness "Relay for life").
I woke up, felt my inner being and went to get flowers for pooja.  There was no way I could handle the activities of the day, create a wonderful relaxing experience for our Biryukov families in that state.
I did pooja twice and sat for meditation after it as well.  My state was peaceful, blissful and I had a feeling that I am well taken care of.
Conclusion:  If I used the word "Charged by my spiritual practice instead of addicted to my spiritual practice, I would not have stopped the practice.  I tasted the ability to function without stress and it is hard and very unpleasant to  go back to the old ways.  Well, I of course wish to experience waking up in the same mood that I am during meditation and staying in that same mood/space all the time without loosing it even if no practice was done.  But for that I guess I need more practice first... and I need to choose words wisely...

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