Late at night. Fight with my daughter that started because she hanged around the kitchen without doing much. "I am tired, Mom. Can I skip chorus tomorrow? Maybe sleep in. I am tired....", - she screams.
I am a bit upset already. She was rude the day before and I took away iphone and ipod and whatever "i"s I could think of. Now, instead of thinking about finishing math, she is upset with not having her "i" things and keeps talking about them and math and science are still untouched.
For two hours she was describing how difficult the situation was and acting it out for me to make sure I got it..
Finally I got really mad and said: "Enough No homework for you. You are not allowed to do your homework, Immediately to bed". And I meant it! I meant every word!
She screams even louder than before: "Nooooooooooo. I have to finish the work! How can you do that?! You really do not care!!!! I would get a zero!!! You know what it means?! It means I would start a marking period with a ZERO!!! Don't you understand?!I am not going anywhere until I finish the work!"
I said: "Nope You are not finishing anything. Immediately to bed."
My 25 year old son walked in and said; "Mom, do not worry, please give her 45 min to fnishin. She really wants to have it done. I can be here with her Please Mom."
I said: "Ok, you have only 30 minutes. Not more than that." and I left.
She finished everything and got an A in Math the next day. She said: "Mom, sorry. Thank you so much for letting me do my homework."
What did Swamij say? "If you want the job to be done tell your teenager that they are not allowed to do it".