Sunday, February 23, 2014

Broken Shoulder or "I am loved" :)

This happened on November 27, 2013.
I am still only in a process of recovery from this accident and although it is painful I would not miss this experience and if I were asked to change the past so that the break of my shoulder would not have happened, I would say No, No way.
I was meeting my son and his girlfriend at the parking lot and when I was taking things from one car to another, my car started rolling back and I tried to hold it with my arm.  I know, I know, that was really stupid.  I agree completely.  Why on earth I had an idea that I could hold a car that weighs…..Anyway, I fell.   I actually had a weird feeling of "giving up".  Not sure I  can better describe it.    Then it was an sharp pain in my right shoulder.   My car was heading to hit other cars on the parking lot but my son came to the rescue, jumped in and stopped that moving machine...
I remembered right away the techniques Swamij taught us when he broke his arm and how we need to look into the pain and breath into it and not avoid the pain but explore with curiosity.  I started doing all that and the pain subsided.  My son was kind enough to insist on going to ER to check it.
We went to a nearby hospital.   I found a good body position that made me almost pain free and we were chatting in the ER with my son.  I felt really bad that my son missed seeing his friends and he kept saying that I should relax because when we would ever find time just to sit and chat with each other.  He was funny and sweet and caring and I kept thinking that I was so blessed by having him around and sitting with me and telling me jokes.
No one paid much attention to us because I looked comfortable and the nurses told me that it could not possibly be a break because I would have been in much more pain.  I was happy;  not a serious accident was a diagnosis I was looking for.  I loved the joke one of the nurses made when she heard a story.  She said: "Let me check the back of your shirt.  Does it have the letter "S" on it?"  She was making a joke about Superwoman.  Funny.
The scene changed drastically after they did x-rays.  Everyone started running around and brought me strong pain killers.  Turned out it was a full break.
Next day I spent with my son, my daughter, my son's girlfriend and her family.  It was Thanksgiving and all I could think was how awesome that I had all these people for this day.  Kids would constantly ask if I were ok and that amount of attention was healing the shoulder on its own.  I am divorced and I noticed that I feel lonely during the holidays.  22 years of being with one person is a lot of years, recovery takes  time.  Anyway, next day my close friends invited us and again I felt love and care and I was thinking that I knew that I had all that support in my life but experiencing it was extraordinary .
Next day another unexpected surprise.  A former class mate whom I saw for a brief moment 13 years ago at the high school reunion was visiting his friends in New Jersey and came to see me for one day.
That one day turned into a month of help and healing for me.  All I could do during this month was sleep (often while sitting because lying down was painful) and go to the doctors who would confirm with an x ray that all was in place, no surgery required and I just needed to keep being still…
My childhood friend said, he needed a break from his routine and helping me was awesome.  He discovered life in a different country and had an opportunity to think about his own life.
OMG!  He was thankful (!) that he could help me.  OMG> OMG>OMG.
I think my lesson is that there is no way I can plan or prepare for all the happenings in my life but God (my Guru :) :) :) always has a way of being with me.  God comes in the faces of the children, in the care of the friends, in the situations that look painful but turn out to be the best possible thing for you.
By the way, my December and all the holidays this year were the best holidays of at least the last ten years of my life.  My house was full of friends and family and gifts and I was just there to witness it all. Even cooking was not required on my part!
God shows up in our life in the form that is the most beneficial and easy for us to accept because we are part of Him, because he is here 24x7.

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